It would be nice to think that going through a divorce wouldn’t affect the types of men who are attracted to you. It would be reasonable to believe that the only things that a man thinks about when considering asking you out are your personality, physical attraction (well it would be nice if they didn’t care so much about that but, come on, one battle at a time), common interests and similar values. But life isn’t always nice and reasonable and, for several reasons, some men take a particular interest in divorced women. You may have come out of this divorce stronger and wiser, but you also came out of it with a sign on your head that says, “target for men with issues.” You just didn’t know you were wearing the sign. Here are the types of men you may attract after a divorce.
The man who hates marriage
The bitter man who isn’t over his parent’s own divorce and goes on hour-long rants about how antiquated the constitution of marriage is—this guy loves divorced women. He believes they’ll drink up his soap box speeches at a time like this, and you’ll be right on the same page as him.
The man who wants to marry right away
Then there is the man who is looking for an instant-wife. He sees you, the divorcée, and thinks, “If I swoop in early enough, she will still be missing married life and may want to jump ship simply.”
Your divorce lawyer
It’s not uncommon for a divorce lawyer to fall in love with his client during her proceedings. He sees you so raw and vulnerable and gets to know you like very few people do. And besides, he knows for sure—legally—that you are single now.
The man who wants to save you
Men who love broken women love divorced women. You’re not broken, but these men assume that you are. These men are, in fact, usually broken themselves which is why they flock to women they assume are so messed up that they won’t judge them.
The man who thinks this is a Diane Lane movie
The hopeless romantic who believes he can “revive” you—he thinks he can make you feel young, beautiful and vibrant again. He thinks it’s normal to show up in your rose garden.
The man who also just went through a divorce
Misery loves company, and you may just attract another recent divorcée who thinks you can drink wine while you talk about the complicated paperwork and child custody battles.
The man who has gone through four divorces
Oh right—then there is the man who has gone through several divorces and thought, “Hey, this woman is bound to judge me a little less than the women who haven’t gone through any divorces.” (But you should still judge him. I mean four—come on.)
The married man
What’s the number one thing married men look for in a mistress? Somebody who isn’t interested in marriage. They assume recently divorced women fit that bill.
The younger man
Every young man has a fantasy of sweeping a recently divorced woman off of her feet, treating her to amazing sex and making her feel like she’s 22 again. Maybe you should let them fulfill that fantasy…
Your ex’s best friend
You’ll see; your ex probably had plenty of friends who secretly pined after you the entire marriage and always thought your spouse wasn’t good enough for you. They’ll make themselves known now.
Your ex’s brother
It’s not uncommon for your spouse’s sibling to fall in love with you. He certainly spent enough time around you and got to know you very well during your marriage. Maybe he never felt his brother was good enough for you.
Some men may believe that you walked away from your divorce with a good chunk of money. Maybe wait a while before driving the Cadillac you won in the settlement around town.
The man who likes a challenge
He’s dated the women still in love with their exes, the women who just got out of rehab, the women who are in and out of rehab, and the women who can’t decide what their sexuality is. A divorcée is next on his list of challenging women to conquer.
If you and your partner had a couple’s therapist, or you saw one on your own throughout the marriage, he may come forward now as having feelings for you. He may have felt them all along and didn’t want to say anything for fear of damaging your marriage but, hey, that ship has sailed.
The much, much older man
The much, much older man—perhaps the widow—doesn’t want to worry about a woman who wants to get married, have kids and do the whole thing. He just wants a companion. He may hope you want that, too. And maybe you can be friends with his daughter since you are the same age.