Long-term relationships come with some deep, meaningful, from-the-heart perks. But if we can be honest, it also comes with some financial ones—being single can get pricey! The cheapest way to spend a Friday night is with boxed wine, Netflix, and a frozen pizza but nobody ever met the love of their life by doing that (unless the checkout guy where you bought the wine did it for you). Finding the one usually involves being out of the house, and that means paying for dinner, drinks, taxis, outfits, makeup and—let’s not forget—dating aps. It’s exhausting and expensive! Which is why we’d like to take a moment to appreciate the unexpected upside of a long-term relationship. Here are expenses you get to cut in a committed relationship.
Remember when you used to shave everything, every day, because you and your new boyfriend were probably going to have sex that night? Now you know, based on your and your boo’s routine when you’ll have sex, when you won’t, and you plan your shaving around that. Sometimes you straight up ask him, “Do you think we’ll have sex tonight? Because if not, I’m not shaving.”
Condoms get pricey. Sure, you can pick up a handful at the free clinic, but you don’t really like being seen going in and out of the free clinic, it’s rude to grab 100 condoms while you’re there, and they don’t carry the ones you really like. When you’re single or in a new relationship, you can easily drop $40 a month on condoms. But once you’re in a long-term relationship and you’ve both tested clean, you can switch to the pill, which (if you have health insurance) could cost you just around $10 a month. Or you can ask your partner to split the cost of condoms with you, even Steven.
If you live together, then you can almost totally eliminate paid rides from your relationship experience. When you were in a new relationship, you were often taking taxis to meet your boo for drinks or get to his place from your place, after you already had a lot of wine at your place. Once you’re in something committed, you live together or shamelessly spend most nights at one another’s place.
There is this pressure in a new relationship to constantly plan things, do things, go out and spend money. And that makes sense because you don’t really get to know someone by silently sitting next to them on a couch, watching HBO. But once the relationship is established and you know you’re in it for the long haul, you can stop the façade of actually wanting to go out every weekend. You and your boo can enjoy a bottle of wine, home-made food, and Netflix.
The good wine
Speaking of wine, gone are the days of purchasing the good wine so you didn’t come off as cheap. You and your partner go to the liquor store and openly ask for the cheapest bottle of wine or bottle of tequila. Nobody is pretending to detect the notes of oak or honey in Cabernet anymore; you all just want a cheap buzz.
Remember when things were new with your boo and you didn’t want to encroach on his space too much? You didn’t leave a toothbrush or underwear at his place, and you certainly didn’t bring your dog with you every time you went over. But somebody had to take care of your dog, so you hired someone on Wag or one of those other dog-care aps. Now your partner loves your dog just as much as you do, and he begs you to bring little Fido over.
I am not saying a boyfriend can fix you. And I am not saying that we only go to therapy to help ourselves find a boyfriend. But I am saying that when you find that person who just fits—like the missing puzzle piece—you suddenly stop obsessing over fixing this flaw or that insecurity. Somehow, those insecurities go away when you find someone who embraces you. And somehow, your partner sees your so-called flaws as adorable quirks.
This doesn’t have to leave this space, but we can all admit that we’ve turned to fortune tellers, tarot-card readers, psychics and plenty of other alternative, um, “life coaches” to find out when the hell we’re going to find that man. So that’s one expense you can cut once you find him.
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