Popular culture, political rhetoric, and selective statistics have reinforced the idea that Black men are disengaged from their children’s lives.
Across Houston, Black fathers are actively challenging that narrative through consistent presence, emotional availability, and community leadership, shaping not only their families but the next generation of Black youth.
According to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), Black fathers who live with their children are more likely than fathers of other racial groups to engage in daily caregiving tasks, including bathing, dressing, and helping children use the restroom.
Roughly 70% of Black fathers report doing so daily, compared to 60% of white fathers and 45% of Hispanic fathers. While Black fathers are statistically less likely to be married to their children’s mothers, a trend tied to longstanding structural inequities, research consistently shows they remain deeply involved regardless of household structure.
Dominique Calhoun, founding member at the law firm Calhoun Meredith PLLC and the father of a three-year-old son, said the idea that Black fathers are absent ignores lived reality.
“The biggest myth about Black fatherhood is absenteeism. There are plenty of us who grew up with our fathers, and there are plenty of us who didn’t and made a conscious decision to be present because of that.”
Dominique Calhoun
He says the issue is not whether Black men value fatherhood, but whether society is willing to recognize their contributions.
“The biggest myth about Black fatherhood is absenteeism,” Calhoun said. “There are plenty of us who grew up with our fathers, and there are plenty of us who didn’t and made a conscious decision to be present because of that.”
Calhoun’s own understanding of fatherhood was shaped by his relationship with his father, an electrician and construction business owner who taught him the value of labor, responsibility, and service from a young age. Though his parents divorced when he was 11, Calhoun spent summers working alongside his father, learning both trade skills and life lessons.
“He taught me what it really takes to support a family and show up for your community,” Calhoun said. “A lot of what motivated me to become a lawyer came from watching him work and lead.”
Today, Calhoun describes fatherhood as a daily exercise in intentional presence. As a working professional, he says the challenge is not time, but prioritization.
“There’s a moment every day where you have to turn off the world and turn on [to] your child,” he said. “When your kid asks you to play, those five minutes matter more than anything else you think is urgent.”
Presence and availability
That presence, researchers note, plays a critical role in infant development. Studies have shown that playtime with fathers is often more physically stimulating, which supports motor development and emotional regulation in young children. Fathers also contribute significantly to child resilience through modeling behavior, reinforcing values, and transmitting cultural identity.
William North IV, a Houston father of an eight-year-old son, said children internalize consistency more than words.
“Being present is about following through,” North said. “If you say you’re going to pick them up, you pick them up. If you say you’re going to be there, you show up. That’s how trust is built.”
North said his father modeled reliability and emotional safety, shaping how he now parents his own child. He describes his role as protector, guide, and example, emphasizing that accessibility matters even when physical presence is limited.
“Kids need to know they can reach you, that you’re available and that you do what you say you’re going to do,” North said.
North also takes a deliberate approach to preparing his son for the realities of being Black in America, blending open conversation with lived experience. Through mentorship programs, travel, and exposure to Black history, he aims to contextualize race without instilling fear.
“You can’t hide the world from them,” North said. “You have to help them understand it, while reinforcing that they are worthy and perfectly made as a young man.”
That balance between protection and preparation is shared by Ray Shackleford, founder and principal of Ozark Street Consulting, and vice president of Equitable Justice National Urban League. Shackleford is a father, godfather, and father figure who believes Black fatherhood extends beyond biology into community accountability.
“In my circle, being an absent father is not acceptable. We hold each other accountable to show up, even when relationships don’t work out.”
– Ray Shackleford
“In my circle, being an absent father is not acceptable,” Shackleford said. “We hold each other accountable to show up, even when relationships don’t work out.”
Shackleford credits his own father with instilling faith, discipline, and a commitment to service. Values that continue to guide his leadership today.
“Fatherhood made me more empathetic,” Shackleford said. “It increased my emotional intelligence and changed how I show up for people, whether that’s my daughter or my team at work.”
Being present means making decisions through the lens of a child’s needs, even when it disrupts professional schedules or personal comfort. He said his daughter’s activities are nonnegotiable.
“If my daughter has a play, I’m there,” he said. “My coworkers know that. My friends know that. Once you have kids, it’s not about you anymore.”
Despite these realities, Black fathers say their efforts are often overlooked in public discourse, particularly when compared to the reverence placed on motherhood. While honoring mothers remains essential, fathers argue that equitable recognition matters for family stability and cultural health.
“Black fathers are more than providers,” Shackleford said. “We carry emotional weight, community responsibility, and generational expectations, and that deserves acknowledgment.”
Supporting Black fatherhood also requires addressing systemic barriers, including mass incarceration, economic inequality, and limited access to mental health resources. Calhoun, whose nephew grew up without his father due to imprisonment, said the responsibility to step in extended naturally.
For younger Black men navigating fatherhood under complex circumstances, the message from these Black fathers is to be consistent. Show up. Stay engaged. Heal where necessary. Lead with intention.
“When there’s a gap, somebody has to fill it,” Calhoun said. “That’s what fatherhood looks like in real life.”
