What started as a gesture of gratitude has spiraled into an obligation — one that for some people feels more like a moral test than a monetary choice.
For many Americans, especially in Black and working-class communities, tipping culture has become a confusing and inequitable burden, reshaped by guilt prompts, economic strain and racialized expectations.
A recent Pew Research Center survey found that 72% of U.S. adults feel they are being asked to tip in more places than five years ago — from fast-casual eateries to repair shops and even medical offices. A Bankrate poll found that two-thirds of Americans view tipping culture negatively, with 30% describing it as “out of control.”
The “Guilt Prompt” era
Today, even grabbing a muffin or paying at a self-checkout comes with a prompt: Would you like to leave a tip? Often, the suggested options start at 18%, climbing up to 25% — long before any service is actually rendered.
“These tipping screens pop up before you’ve even received the service,” said Melanie Carter, a Houston teacher and single mom. “And when the worker is standing there watching you, you feel judged if you hit ‘no tip.’”
For Black consumers like Carter, the pressure runs deeper.
“It’s not just about tipping — it’s about perception,” she said. “You don’t want to seem cheap or rude, especially as a Black woman.”
Attorney and hospitality law professor Stephen Barth said technology has made tipping nearly unavoidable.
“A simple flip of a screen with suggested amounts displayed is often all an employee needs to solicit a tip,” said Barth, who teaches at the University of Houston’s Conrad N. Hilton College of Global Hospitality Leadership. “People are tipping out of shame — not necessarily out of appreciation.”
The economic double bind
Inflation is squeezing household budgets, particularly in minority communities, yet consumers are still expected to tip generously in more situations than ever before. That includes carryout orders, food trucks and drive-through windows.
“I’ve recently stopped tipping,” said Houstonian Shay Smith. “I’m over the expectation that I’m required to make up the difference in someone’s pay. For services, I pay what you invoice me — not a penny over.”
And yet, many service workers — often women and people of color — rely on those tips to survive, especially in the 36 states where the federal tipped minimum wage of $2.13 an hour still applies.
“I made $2.15 an hour at Red Lobster back in college,” said Kysa Anderson Daniels. “And I think it’s still the same. That experience taught me the value of good service — and why I always tip.”
Barth said the tip-credit wage system was born out of injustice — and has remained stagnant for decades.
“When tipping was introduced in the U.S. after the Civil War, it allowed employers to avoid paying Black workers full wages,” he said. “It was essentially an extension of slavery.”
Though the federal minimum wage for most workers has increased over time, the tipped minimum wage has stayed frozen.
“It’s really a subsidy for employers,” Barth said. “They get away with not paying fair wages while pressuring the public to make up the difference.”
Cultural expectations and racial bias
The racial undertones of tipping haven’t disappeared. Studies show that Black customers are often unfairly perceived as poor tippers — regardless of the actual tip amount — a stereotype that can lead to subpar service, further fueling a self-fulfilling prophecy.
“I’m curious about the ‘demographics that don’t tip well,’” said Robin Pendleton. “If it’s obvious the servers are pulling straws as to who gets my table, their service becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.”
In an industry where front-of-house staff often walk away with far more than kitchen workers — who can’t legally receive tips — the imbalance raises deeper questions about equity.
“Some of those servers are walking out with $600 or $700 in four hours,” Barth said. “Even if the line cooks are making $20 per hour today, how is that equitable?”
Who should be responsible?
Many consumers feel caught between economic strain and social obligation. Meanwhile, employers often escape scrutiny.
“During COVID, people became very generous,” Barth said. “More places expanded the tipping model — and that trend has continued post-COVID because it takes the pressure off businesses to raise wages.”
This strategy isn’t limited to small businesses. Critics have criticized chains owned by wealthy restaurateurs that continue to pay sub-minimum wages while expecting customers to close the gap.
“Servers shouldn’t have to split their tips with the back of the house,” said Hiawatha Henry, a vocal tipping reform advocate. “But they also shouldn’t be paid $2 an hour while owners make millions.”
Tipping, transparency and the path forward
Some restaurateurs are bucking the model. Danny Meyer, founder of Shake Shack and Union Square Hospitality Group, raised menu prices and eliminated tipping in his restaurants, opting to pay all staff a full wage.
“If we put the true cost on the menu, I think it’s better for everybody,” Barth said. “Tipping has become a hidden fee. When you look at an online menu, you’re not thinking about the 25% you’ll add at the end.”
With no major policy changes on the horizon, Barth suggests consumers reclaim agency by tipping with intention — not guilt.
“I think people are going to have to watch a lot more of Brené Brown’s TED Talks around shame and get over it,” he said. “Don’t tip because you feel like you have to — tip because it’s deserved.”
Critics of modern tipping culture agree: The problem is not generosity but systemic dependence.
Here’s what reform could look like:
- End the federal tipped minimum wage and ensure living wages from employers.
- Support restaurants that pay fairly — even if prices are higher.
- Pass legislation that protects service workers and ensures wage transparency.
- Normalize tipping for true service — not self-checkout or basic counter orders.
Until then, the system remains a tangle of social cues, racial bias, and economic guilt — with consumers stuck footing the bill.
Sound Off!
Defender readers weigh in on tipping culture.
“I tip when I sit down to eat. If it’s takeout or drive-thru, I don’t.” – Sharon Moore
“I tip based on the service. If they upset me, it’s a penny under the glass. That means I wasn’t happy.” – Cathey Morris
“I was a hair stylist. Sometimes, tips were how I got through. So now, I tip big.” – Candy Jackson
“I tip generously. But I don’t like when the bill includes it automatically.” – Kym Fisher
“We’ve been brainwashed to think it’s our job to make sure workers get paid instead of the owner just paying a fair wage.” – Hiawatha Henry
“I try to tip generously, but I do not usually tip if I have received food standing up or sitting in my car. Also, I haven’t always left tips for hotel housekeeping staff, but now I usually do. The other day, I tipped the roadside assistance guy. He was clearly not expecting it and was extremely grateful. I always tip airport shuttle bus drivers and anyone who has handled my luggage.” – Tiffany Stafford
“ I personally tip well because of my experience in the industry. Opting out or adjusting the amount is comfortable if my check also includes retail purchases or grab-and-go items.” –Sharmagne Taylor
“I’m not tipping if I am picking up takeout or curbside. If my barista is making me something yummy or goes above and beyond, I will tip. I over tip if I’m seated to eat – always feel bad for servers who get the automatic tip…I’m more likely to tip above 20% if service and food are good – even if it’s casual bar food. Hair stylists and nail techs always tip – I make my younger kids give them cash if I have it too, so they learn.” – Lolita Smith
“I tip above the average because I’m in the industry. Lately, people have been tipping poorly…. And certain demographics won’t tip at all or tip below the average. Other demographics have no problem tipping above the average tipping scale. Why? I can’t put my finger on it…been in the industry for 15years. It’s a PT gig for me, which I love to be in. Great networking and I have met some very interesting people doing it.” –Rene Thomas
