Many of us know the feeling of needing a fresh start. But for Donnell Walker, 59, that feeling came in 2006, and it wasn’t a gentle nudge. It was a full-on shove that came with a life-changing diagnosis of HIV.
Walker was already battling a whole other set of challenges. He was overweight and struggling with multiple health issues (hypertension, diabetes, heart attacks, strokes) and bouts of depression. It’s easy to see how someone could feel overwhelmed by such a tidal wave of health issues.
However, for Walker, that diagnosis became a turning point. It wasn’t a punishment but a wake-up call. It forced him to confront his health head-on, and that’s exactly what he did. With the help of Houston’s Legacy Community Health and the guidance of his nutrition coach, Sean Barrett, he made extreme physical, emotional, and mental strides.
Black gay men living with HIV face a double threat to their health if they are overweight or obese. Excess weight can weaken the immune system, making it harder to fight off infections and potentially leading to more complications from HIV. Obesity can also affect how the body processes HIV medications, reducing their effectiveness. Furthermore, people with obesity are more prone to health conditions like diabetes, heart disease, and some cancers, which can be more severe and progress faster in individuals with HIV.
The Defender spoke with Walker about maintaining a healthy weight while managing the virus and breaking the stigma.
Defender: Can you elaborate on what your life was like before your HIV diagnosis? How did you manage your weight and overall health at that time?
Donnell Walker : I wasn’t very healthy, but I wasn’t aware of how unhealthy I was until after I was diagnosed. I mean, morbidly obese. I knew I was heavy, but I wasn’t concerned because I was young. Coming from my community from my background, most Black men never went to the doctor for regular checkups or labs. I worked daily and had a good job with health insurance, but I never went to the doctor or had a physical after high school. I grew up as a twin. Back then, being a multiple birth was a big deal in the community and family. Everyone seemed to adore us being twins, and we were spoiled. So, how does that connect to my health? Well, I got whatever I liked to eat the most. My thing was Twinkies. I loved Twinkies. My brother had another favorite snack. And to get us to do things, our parents would often give us our favorite treat. With that kind of upbringing, I didn’t take eating seriously. I just ate whatever I wanted.
Defender: Was there an emotional trigger that impacted your eating habits at the time?
Walker: I lost my mother at a young age. But I began to realize that whenever I was depressed, I would eat to sleep, to relax, and to change my train of thought. I didn’t learn that until I started my health journey – that I had a behavior issue and an eating disorder. My eating disorder stemmed from my depression. I didn’t realize how sick I was until I was diagnosed with HIV. It’s kind of weird to say that because being diagnosed with an infectious disease isn’t usually seen as a positive thing, but it was how I began to save my own life.
Defender: As a Black gay man, when did you feel like you were ready to walk in your identity authentically?
Walker: A few years ago. It’s another subject handled through religion in our community. I was taught that religion ruled our lives, and anything beyond the Holy Bible was incorrect, improper, and could send me to hell. It could embarrass the family and even cost me my life. It was a controlling atmosphere. I didn’t free myself until a few years ago. But I’m free now, and I think I freed myself because of behavioral medicine. Getting into that program and learning how to love myself helped me move beyond depression and the control of religion or the community. There’s no freedom in that.
Defender: Did losing your mother also contribute to your depression?
Walker: I was depressed as a young child because I lost the most important person in my life. Even though I lost my mother at a young age, my family was there for us in every way. We were spoiled rotten after she left us because not only were we twins, but we were twins without a mother. My siblings picked up where she left off. My father overprotected us, and everyone from my church pastor to the church members and the community stuck their hands out to help. But it wasn’t helping me because I didn’t know how to handle it. And at my heaviest, I was 405 pounds. Unbeknownst to the point of being physically out of shape and unhealthy, when I was diagnosed with HIV, I was at my heaviest.
Defender: The diagnosis must have been a shock. What emotions did you experience after learning you were HIV positive?
Walker: Well, with HIV back then, in those days, it was a scare that equaled death. So, as soon as I was diagnosed, I just knew the next step in my life was death. I was afraid of even telling my parents, my family, or my friends because I didn’t know how to tell them that I was about to die. That’s how I felt myself. Even with that, it took me many years of counseling, seeing psychiatrists, trusting my PCP, and getting lab results to realize that I could live with it. And then, after being educated, I began to realize that there is success with HIV controlled by medication. I had friends who had already died of AIDS, and I knew that HIV led to AIDS. So, I walked into the laboratory, afraid to live. I knew I was going to die. I just knew that that was the next step. I still wasn’t thinking about being morbidly obese. Wow. I didn’t even look at that because now I’m being faced with HIV.
Defender: What initially drew you to Legacy Community Health? Can you describe the support system you found there, particularly with your nutrition coach, Sean Barrett?
Walker: Everything I learned was from Legacy and my physician. It took me almost ten years to realize that my weight, being overweight, would probably take my life much faster than HIV. And I attribute that to a quote that Sean Barrett said to me upon his arrival at Legacy. We passed each other, and he introduced himself as Legacy’s new nutritionist/dietician. And he said, “You should come by and see me. Why don’t you make an appointment?” I made an appointment, I sat in his office, and after we conversed, he said to me, “I can tell you this: nine times out of ten, HIV will not take your life, but you will lose your life if you don’t control your weight being this out of control. You can lose your life with hypertension, diabetes, and the fact that you’re morbidly obese.” With them, I was able to lose 210 pounds.
Defender: Can you walk us through the challenges and triumphs you faced on your fitness journey?
Walker: The first challenge was portion control. I didn’t know anything about portion control. He introduced me to MyPlate and taught me how to utilize it for healthy eating. That was a big challenge because, like I said, I was used to eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, and as much as I wanted. The second challenge was exercise. He eased me into an exercise program that started slowly. It wasn’t anything vigorous at first. It was just walking for 15 minutes three times a week. That was a big challenge because I was winded easily, and my knees hurt. But I stuck with it because I knew I had to do something. He put me on a low-carb, low-fat diet. That was another challenge because I loved sweets and carbohydrates. But with everything he was teaching me, I knew I had to try it.
Defender: Your story goes beyond weight loss – it’s about overall wellness. How has your mental and emotional well-being improved along with your physical health?
Walker: My mental health has improved greatly. Now, I have a psychiatrist, a psychologist and a behavior health therapist. I talk to a therapist weekly, and I’m on medication to sleep better at night. And I have medication for my depression. I’m balancing out. But it is taken; I’ve been with Legacy for over 20 years. I feel happier than I’ve ever been.
Defender: What advice would you give to others struggling with weight loss or managing a chronic illness?
Walker: you must first care enough about yourself to want to live. A lot of people look for reasons to live. My reason for living is to want to see tomorrow. So, with every single thing that I have done to survive since I was diagnosed with HIV and came to the realization that I was morbidly obese and I was out of health control, I decided to rely on my team for success. I would advise anybody from my community, any man who doesn’t go to the doctor, to take what I’m saying and try it out. You’ll be surprised how technology has bridged a gap between us and the health profession.
