When I think back to my childhood, I can still smell the cornbread baking in my grandmother’s kitchen and hear the hum of her box fan blowing through long, slow Southern afternoons. My summers were spent entirely with her. The day school let out, my mom packed up my sister and me, drove us to Arkansas, and didn’t return until the day before school started again. That was the deal, and Grandma held it down without complaint.
But that was then.
Good luck finding that Grandma in 2025. Today’s grandmothers? They’re a whole different story. In America, there are currently about 67 million grandmothers – more than ever before – and that headcount continues to rise. If you’re lucky, you can book Grandma for a weekend, but you’d better get on her calendar months in advance. She’s out with her boots on the ground, at the casino, or catching flights instead of feelings.
Among grandparents under age 65 with grandchildren under age 18, approximately 20% provide care at least once a week, but only around 8% do so daily or nearly daily, according to the Healthcare Policy Institute. In other words, many grandmas pick and choose how they show up. They’re not just standby babysitters. They’re intentional about when and how they invest their time.
Even among the more traditional models (grandparents living with grandchildren), the dynamics are shifting. In 2021, approximately 6.7 million adults aged 30 and older lived with their grandchildren; nearly half of these had been responsible for them for five years or more. These aren’t one-weekend visits, but even these women are not the “once retired, always at home” type. They’ll still donate time, love, guidance…before they head out the door.
What’s changed? A lot. The traditional markers—early marriage, large families, and staying put—have given way in many cases to more mindful choices, smaller families, delayed parenting, and self-investment. As a result, grandmas today often have more freedom, more energy, and more resources. They haven’t had as many children as previous generations; they took longer to have them. They invested in themselves. Many of the 76 million baby boomers (born 1946-1964) are now crossing age 55 and entering the grandparenting chapter, and they’re arriving with a different paradigm.
So yes – these are not your grandmother’s variety.
Even the grandmas who are raising their grandchildren full-time are doing things differently. In the U.S., about 2.3 million children are being raised by their grandmothers and 1.3 million by their grandfathers. These women and men have taken on the full parenting load, but they often still carry the modern-grandma swagger.
These women are balancing affection for their families with a renewed sense of independence. They’ll kiss the grandbabies, maybe slip them a few dollars, then head out the door. They’re starting businesses, running marathons, and booking girls’ trips to destinations their own mothers never dreamed of visiting.
It’s not that they love their families any less; they’re just embracing the idea that they don’t have to lose themselves in the role of grandmother. They’ve raised their children, survived careers, marriages, divorces, and a pandemic. Now, they’re determined to savor this chapter however they want.
Because while Grandma still has wisdom to share, she’s also got a passport, a playlist, and a purpose. She’s proof that age doesn’t define joy and tradition doesn’t define womanhood.
I don’t have any grandchildren yet, but when I get some, my kids have already been put on notice – you will have to catch me when you can. And Junior better have a passport and a traveling nanny if he wants to roll with me!
