According to new data from the U.S. Census Bureau, a growing number of married couples are saying “I do” to keeping their finances separate.
In 2023, 23% of married couples reported having no joint bank account, a significant jump from 15% in 1996. Experts say the shift reflects broader cultural and economic changes, reshaping how couples think about money and marriage.
“Texas is a community property state, so even if one person racks up debt, it can legally become both partners’ debt. For some couples, the solution is keeping finances separate and signing a prenup that clearly delineates what belongs to whom.”
Dr. Stephanie Zepeda
Couples cite various reasons for keeping their finances apart. Some want to avoid conflict caused by differing money styles. Others enter marriage with significant debt, such as student loans or credit cards and prefer not to tie those liabilities to their partner.
People are getting married later, often when they already have careers, savings and financial habits. They’re less inclined to merge everything and more focused on protecting their independence.
Dr. Stephanie Zepeda, a Houston marriage and family therapist who specializes in financial conflict, said some of her clients turn to separate accounts after struggling with “financial infidelity,” hiding debt, secret credit cards or gambling losses.
“Texas is a community property state, so even if one person racks up debt, it can legally become both partners’ debt,” Zepeda explained. “For some couples, the solution is keeping finances separate and signing a prenup that clearly delineates what belongs to whom.”
She added that blended families often benefit from separation. “In second marriages where children are involved, it keeps things clear. If you’re paying tuition or child support, separate accounts prevent one partner from feeling like they’re carrying the other’s responsibilities.”
Hybrid approaches
Rather than an all-or-nothing choice, couples are increasingly experimenting with hybrid systems. That might mean each partner keeps his/her own account for personal spending while maintaining a joint account for household bills, groceries or long-term goals like saving for a home.
Zepeda said many of her clients use proportional contributions, splitting expenses based on income rather than 50/50.
“If one person earns double the other might cover 75% of the rent while the other pays 25%,” Zepeda said. “It feels fairer and avoids resentment.”
She recommends couples set aside “fun money” each month in separate debit accounts.
“When it’s gone, it’s gone,” Zepeda said. “It keeps discretionary spending under control and prevents arguments over things like Amazon purchases or brunches.”
The communication factor
Financial experts stress that the method itself matters less than the conversations couples have around money. Transparency and regular check-ins can help prevent misunderstandings and resentment.
Dave Ramsey, a radio personality and financial guru, is well-known for his straightforward strategies on debt and money management. In one of his episodes, he strongly advises that married couples combine all finances into joint accounts to foster unity, teamwork and shared goals, rather than keeping separate finances, which he equates to being “roommates with wedding rings”.
He believes that a marriage is a unified entity where income and expenses are shared, promoting open communication and a collective “we” and “our” mindset, rather than a “mine” and “yours” approach.
That philosophy resonates with Dr. Tony Holmes, a professional certified coach, and his wife, Crystal Holmes. The Houston couple has been married for nearly a decade and shares a unified approach to money.
“We built everything together,” Tony said. “We met in college and when we started, neither of us had much. From day one, we just built everything out in the open, vulnerably and we’ve been able to survive through the good and the bad together.”
Crystal said their shared foundation was based on transparency. “It was kind of understood from the beginning that we would do things together,” she said. “We have business accounts for our individual ventures, but we talk about what goes in and out. There are no secret accounts; everything is accessible to both of us.”
She added that they hold regular financial meetings, sometimes weekly or monthly. “We lay everything out. I think having that transparency is very important,” she said. “You should know what’s coming in, what’s going out and where the money is going.”
They said faith and shared values have guided their approach. They help them stay grounded when times are tough and humble when things are good.
The Holmeses also view financial unity as part of building a lasting legacy—especially within the Black community.
“There’s a lot of shame in our community when it comes to money,” Tony said. “We do a lot out of lack. But couples should try to learn together, take a class, build a side hustle, or just start something together. That’s how we’ve learned the most.”
“When they first got married, Crystal was better at saving than Tony and he was better at budgeting. They learned their roles early and leaned into them. Now we thrive because they respected each other’s strengths.
“Money can be a tough topic, but how you talk about it makes all the difference,” Crystal said. “Being patient, kind and organized helps keep those conversations productive.”
https://defendernetwork.com/under-40/financial-planning-in-marriage/–
Dr. Stephanie Zepeda’s Top Money & Marriage Tips
- Budget Forward, Not Backward
- Don’t just track what you spent last month — plan ahead.
- Create a year-long budget (January–December) to see your true costs and align your goals.
- Don’t just track what you spent last month — plan ahead.
- Have a “Credit Report Night”
- Before marriage, run your credit reports together.
- Use it as a chance to openly discuss debt, habits and how to handle liabilities as a team.
- Before marriage, run your credit reports together.
- Keep Fun Money Separate
- Set aside a fixed amount each month on a debit card for discretionary spending (clothes, eating out, Amazon orders).
- Once it’s gone, it’s gone. If you don’t use it, it rolls over to the next month.
- Set aside a fixed amount each month on a debit card for discretionary spending (clothes, eating out, Amazon orders).
- Transparency Over Secrecy
- Whether you keep accounts joint, separate, or hybrid, share goals and spending habits.
- Annual “money meetings” help keep couples aligned and prevent financial infidelity.
- Whether you keep accounts joint, separate, or hybrid, share goals and spending habits.
- Match Contributions Fairly
- Consider percentage-based contributions if one partner earns significantly more (not always 50/50).
- This helps avoid resentment and maintains equity.
- Consider percentage-based contributions if one partner earns significantly more (not always 50/50).
