How many of you have seen those Instagram Black women empowerment brunch clips and photos, cute hashtags and impassioned speeches with a hint of surface-level displays of solidarity?
I don’t know about you, but I think there is a broader conversation about women’s empowerment culture and its current state of disarray. Social media influencers and performative activism dominate this era, and the lines between genuine support and self-serving agendas have become blurred. Women are bombarded with messages of empowerment, yet the reality often falls short of the idealized imagery portrayed online. If we think about it, there is a deeper context to all of this.
I’ve read numerous articles about how women navigate their social relationships with other women, how women don’t get dolled up to impress or entice men but dress to upstage other women (different topic, but you get the point). There is research about the psychology of women and how they actively compete with one another, and it’s most likely rooted in a scarcity mindset.
A 2020 meta-analysis found that women envy their more gorgeous female rivals. It makes sense that attractiveness would draw men and women alike, as it might signify good health and childbearing. There are layers to this.
In my opinion, a true “girl’s girl” is hard to find – women who are genuinely happy to see other women succeeding. Someone who isn’t a gatekeeper of resources. Someone who will defend your character in your presence and your absence, a person who is also learning from the women she is uplifting, especially if they are better than her at things. A person who shows up with consistency and grace through the good times and the bad.
I’ve gone to my fair share of these events, and sometimes, I have to give a side eye to the vibes of other women in the room. The sizing up people you don’t know, standoff-ish, big boss b***h energy just wasn’t cutting it for me at times. But in all things, you try to put your best foot forward and move in a way that reflects what’s supposed to be the mission behind these events in the first place.
Women supporting women should extend beyond surface-level gestures and tokenistic displays of solidarity. True empowerment requires authenticity, vulnerability, and a commitment to lifting each other, even when it’s not convenient or glamorous. It means celebrating each other’s successes without reservation, offering a listening ear in need, and advocating for their rights and equality.
So, how do we reclaim the authenticity of women supporting women’s culture?
It starts with introspection and a commitment to genuine connection and solidarity. We must be willing to confront our own biases and insecurities and actively challenge the narratives that pit women against each other. Because these days, I’m not convinced.
