Shedding the Superwoman Cape: Black Women should prioritize self-care

For decades, Black women have celebrated our ability to “do it all.” Then Karyn White’s 1980s hit “I’m Not Your Superwoman” challenged the celebrated notion of “resilience” in Black women. The song underscores the heavy burdens societal expectations place on Black women, highlighting the detrimental effects on our emotional and psychological well-being. And Black women began singing it from the top of their lungs. And with good reason.

Society has long perpetuated the myth that Black women are incapable of feeling pain and should endure suffering with unyielding resilience. That mindset has placed Black women with a burden that is taking a toll on their mental health.

“Being that ‘strong Black woman is hurting us,” says Nettie Jones, who wrote The Girlfriend’s Guide to Therapists. “We as Black women embody those stereotypes and we take them on a lot of the time. By saying things such as ‘I got things under control’ or ‘I can handle it,’ we have a hard time getting over what other people put on us and what other people think we should be.”

The pressure of resilience

“Sometimes the feeling of being strong causes me to take on more than what my mental capacity can handle. Whether it is at home as a single mother or at work proving I can handle more. Sometimes I don’t immediately seek medical attention or I hold off on things that I need to do because I feel like I can do more and handle more.” -Latrice Causey, educator

Black women are often expected to manage their struggles and those of their families and communities, often without adequate support. This expectation of perpetual resilience leads to chronic stress, contributing to higher rates of mental health issues, such as depression, and health-related problems, including hypertension.

Redefining resilience

“My breast cancer diagnosis came in the midst of my move to Florida to become my parents caregiver. OVERWHELMED!!! I had to ask for help because I couldn’t face this major illness treatment and keep all the other balls in the air. (Which everyone, including my Sister, were content for me to handle all by myself; because I always played the Super Woman role). Now that I had to ask for help, I don’t plan to ever play that role; I hung up my cape for good.” – Nina Wilson Jones

True resilience should not mean enduring hardship without complaint. It should encompass the ability to seek help, rest, and practice self-care. Embracing vulnerability and acknowledging the toll of constant resilience can lead to healthier and more authentic expressions of strength. Creating spaces where Black women can express their struggles without the pressure to appear resilient is vital.

The myth of the strong Black woman

“I do still feel the need to be strong. I was raised by a Panamanian grandmother and mother who raised me that way so it’s hard to move out of the strong role but what I do differently than they did is I talk about how I’m feeling. I’m no longer covering up when I feel overwhelmed. I’m still strong and get what I need done, but I sit and talk about it if I need to. I think it helps so much to share and release all that I’m feeling which helps with my mental health.” – Candy McQueen

The notion of the “strong Black woman” serves as a double-edged sword. While it acknowledges strength, it imposes unrealistic expectations for Black women to be perpetually resilient, disregarding their need for support and vulnerability. Addressing these challenges requires increasing awareness, improving access to culturally competent care, implementing supportive policies, and fostering community-based solutions.

Superwoman schema (SWS)

“I feel I have to be strong. Who else is going to do what needs to be done? I have backed away from being the be-all to end-all for my children but I have my mother. I have four brothers and it’s like pulling teeth to get them to help. I’m in charge. Her health, her daily living, this house, the bills, how she gets to and from, it’s me. When I try to divide duties, there’s excuse after excuse so I stopped. So being strong is just what I have accepted.” – Candy Jackson

Black women in America often experience the superwoman schema (SWS), which involves suppressing emotions, conveying strength, and prioritizing caregiving over self-care. This can cause severe mental distress, but African Americans are less likely to receive mental health services compared to their white counterparts.

The health impact

“I no longer feel the need to be the strong Black woman, mainly because it not only took a toll on my physical health, but also my mental health. I thought as a clinician that I can keep it under control that certain things wouldn’t impact me because I was a strong Black woman. Now in my early 50s I am paying the emotional, physical and mental price for it.” – Nakecia Bowers

The image of the strong African American woman is rooted in generations of history, seen as a proud legacy that helps shield them from discrimination. However, this shield can be a double-edged sword health-wise. Studies have shown that aspects of SWS, such as an intense motivation to succeed and the obligation to help others, worsen the physical harm from racism-induced stress.

“The need to appear strong and suppress emotions might protect women’s health in the short term but can lead to long-term health issues. For instance, suppressing emotions can act like a time bomb waiting to go off,” Jones said.

Self-Care and support

Jones advocates for self-care, suggesting that women can benefit from taking time for themselves, even if it’s just a small break from daily responsibilities.

“Chronic stress is killing Black women. We operate in this space for so long, and then we go to the doctor, we’ve got hypertension, high cholesterol, cancer, all of these things, if unaddressed can turn to physical, emotional, psychological, disorders and diseases. So, we have to focus on our wellness – body, mind, and soul,” Jones said.