Oftentimes, Black women find themselves trapped in the relentless cycle of unfulfilling work, striving to meet societal expectations while neglecting their well-being. The unrecognized emotional work that is subtly woven into Black women’s professional lives is an unwritten expectation and a weight that they bear disproportionately.
Regardless of their own emotional or mental health, Black women frequently find themselves encouraging, counseling and supporting others. It is physically, mentally and financially taxing to juggle all this constantly. Being the emotional pillar of support for coworkers and, occasionally, entire organizations can be a burden that causes burnout and health problems.
Fortunately, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Now is the perfect time to take control of your life, find your purpose and explore different strategies to secure the life you want.
The Defender spoke with Natasha Wade, Your Black Women’s Soul Coach, to discuss ways to help Black women achieve a holistic approach to a purposeful life.
Defender: What motivated you to get into coaching?
Natasha Wade : It all started during COVID-19, around Breonna Taylor and George Floyd’s death. I had slightly abandoned myself because I had been a business owner and entrepreneur since 2012. I started my career as a resume writer and a career coach. But obviously, I’m a busy Black woman trying to survive.
My mother passed away in 2016, and then the racial and social tension that happened in 2020 just got me thinking very existentially about what I want to do with my life. How can I make an impact? Frankly, how can I pour back into myself, have meaning and do work that revives and energizes me?
Defender: How did you align with your coach?
Wade : People go about searching for that guidance in their way, and they have their priorities. I had other peers looking for coaches, and finding someone who was accomplishing what they envisioned for themselves was essential. It was really important for me to find someone who gave me great energy. I wanted to be in the company of someone with whom I could genuinely share my deepest, darkest, most troubling fears because I was experiencing my disappointment. A space to be able to say that out loud without being judged. The minute that I had a free consultation with her, I felt at ease. This is precisely the type of experience that I want to create for Black women.
Defender: What is the concept of soulful living?
Wade : My tagline is that I help Black women achieve their deepest soul desires in life, love, work and play. It’s about creating a holistically satisfying life. I think, especially with Black women, sometimes we tend to overcorrect in one area or another. We’re thinking less about balance or harmony. Harmony doesn’t always necessarily mean that you’re juggling all the things equally, all at the same time. As Black women, we tend to invest so much in everybody else, invest so much in the outside world, invest so much in our family, and invest so much in our work that we get burned out.
But number two is experiencing or providing a still space for her to dream because we’re not. I feel like we’re so busy. We’re in this era where we’re talking more about soft life. Soulful living connects Black women to the most human part of themselves. I want to create that experience for Black women instead of always putting them in a space where they must grind. Do some stuff that you love. Be happy. We’re not necessarily creating environments that produce happy Black women.
Defender: Why are some women hesitant to make a mid-career change, and how does one address those concerns?
Wade : It will be different for every woman, but based on what I know and what I’ve researched. So when you look at the research, for instance, the 2023 Mckinsey & Company Women in the Workplace reportsays, “For every 100 men promoted to manager, 91 white women were promoted in contrast to 54 Black women”. We’re also vastly underrepresented when it comes to senior and executive leadership.
We have some real challenges regarding financial equity and pay equity. There are just not so many people in this world who can get away with not working or not having a steady income. So we have to contribute financially. We don’t have the luxury of being unable to contribute financially in some way.
Whether part of a two-parent home or a single parent, you’ve got to hustle in this world. Plus, if you think about the phenomenon of being a part of the sandwich generation, where you’re caring for your children and your aging parents, that puts a lot of pressure, especially for Black women.
They work full-time, caring for their children, spouses, parents, grandparents and extended families. So when does a Black woman have time to think about what she truly wants?
Defender: What advice do you have for women struggling with imposter syndrome and low self-confidence when considering a career change ?
Wade : In many ways, our feelings of being displaced and excluded are very valid, and everyday decisions corroborate them, which companies are making. This system, this company, this corporation, this environment you’re in, whatever wider environment you’re in, does not dictate who you are. You are worthy because you’re here. You are worthy because you are innately divine. You’re not worthy because of what you do. You are not worthy because of what you accomplish. You could sit there and do nothing and still be worthy.
Defender: What resources or support systems are best for women in this stage of life?
Wade : It’s important to lean on community and ensure you’re in a sacred community with people who align with those principles. Some people call it their board of directors. You should always strive to include a mentor, a sponsor, a therapist and work peers, and if you can invest in a coach, you should strive to have one.
I see a lot of Black women react to the word selfish. However, I do think selfishness has its place when appropriate. Black women tend to see themselves as default caregivers of the world. You’ve got to put on your oxygen mask first so you can stay alive and conscious enough to take care of everybody else, but you should put on your oxygen mask because you wanna live.
