When the kids leave home, the silence can be deafening—and the emotions overwhelming. For many parents, the “empty nest” phase brings a mix of pride, grief and uncertainty. But it can also be a powerful season of growth and rediscovery. In this story, seasoned parents who’ve been through the transition share honest, heartfelt advice for those just entering this new chapter.
From rebuilding identity to setting boundaries with adult children, their words offer both comfort and encouragement to help others embrace the journey ahead with confidence and grace.
“Allow yourself time to grieve their absence. Then find yourself—even if it’s through therapy. I’m in therapy!” — Yvette Gordon
“Keep remembering that this is what we prayed for, and those prayers were answered. Go through each day knowing you prepared them with sound morals and good judgment—and then pray even harder about that!” — Melanie Coleman
“Give them time and opportunity to handle the bumps in the road with professors, financial aid, and advisors, but be at the ready should they need you. They are becoming adults, but they aren’t there yet. In the beginning, you may need to dig a little because some kids feel they’re expected to handle everything on their own and don’t sound alarms when they are in trouble. Help them maneuver through their business—whether it’s stepping in to deal with financial aid or advising them on how to deal with a difficult professor. As they gain confidence and demonstrate competency, take a step back. Let them know you’re still available, but let them lead in their own problem-solving. Eventually, you’ll be doing way more listening than talking (and it happens quick!), and you’ll notice the shift in your overall relationship. They are maturing before your very eyes!” — Patricia Markham Woodside
“Provide an allowance. Both of mine were on scholarship and did not work, so I gave just enough for personal items every two weeks when I got paid. They got nothing more.” — Maggie Whatley Green
“1. Don’t be quick to solve all your child’s problems, but be available to listen to them talk things out. 2. Only give advice when asked. 3. If you see their efforts, help them—we gave ours an allowance when they had a lot of credit hours or weren’t able to work because of their heavy class loads. 4. Enjoy your life, and don’t be on call 24/7. 5. Have an emergency code. 6. ALWAYS keep enough money to get to them at a moment’s notice in case of an emergency.” — Tiffany Funderburk
“I went back to work. Problem solved.” — M. Dolores Collins
“Check in with yourself. Remember what you did and who you were before children.” — Kristan Farr
“Lean heavy into self-care. Just graduated one magna cum laude and one finished his first year.” — Dr. Nikki Harris
“Understand this is a new normal for both you and the young adult.
- Create check-ins for yourself (because they will not understand the amount of concern you’re living with now that they are living without you).
- Learn when they need advice and when they need a listening ear. Be slow to speak, quick to hear and understand.
- Understand that the goals they created under your guidance may change, for good, bad or indifferent reasons. Remember what those transitions were like—relate and start the journey of transparency. Share the experiences you haven’t shared before.
- Find what makes you happy again and do that times ten.
- Pray.” — Catina Hunt
“Don’t be afraid to let go of the desire to fix everything. My son would reach out and tell me about challenges he was facing, and I would just listen. Of all the things he faced his first year in school, I only had to intervene once.” — Lisa Mead
“Only you know your kid. Don’t be a helicopter parent, BUT if you know your student will need some extra calls from you that first semester, it’s okay. That first semester is hard, so you may have to call to make sure they’re up for that 8 o’clock class, checking on grades, washing, etc. Once you know your kid has the hang of it, roll back your help. Baby steps! Trust me… ask me how I know.” — Tanisha Tate
“Just enjoy life. We can learn a lot from birds—they feed and nurture their young, then push them out to fly and navigate on their own. You’ve done that. Now take care of you: spas, massages, travel to destinations you’ve always dreamed about, spend time with friends you neglected while raising your family. Learn a new hobby. Nurture others by starting a youth program or volunteering somewhere.” — Mia Claiborne
“My therapeutic getaway, hobby, and side hustle became making sweet treats.” — Lolita Allen
“This is your time to shine, baby. Go LIVE. Pray that what you instilled stays and trust that you did well.” — Chef Tamra Eddy
“If the sadness lasts more than two weeks, see a therapist. I am a single empty-nester and the transition hit me hard.” — Sasha N. Brown
“Let yourself miss them hard, but also let yourself enjoy all the freed-up brain space you have once you’re not managing their logistics on a daily basis anymore. And let yourself waste time if you feel like it. You don’t have to throw yourself into some new accomplishment with the time you have now.” — Magda Pecsenye Zarin
“Be kind to yourself. And try to find what YOU like to do. I lost myself with the ripping and running with my two girls—sports, practices, etc. Now I’m just trying to find the Avis before kids again.” — Avis L. Gaither“Be kind to yourself. Understand that parenting doesn’t end when they leave the nest—it just looks different. Find new hobbies, and do things that you enjoy.” — Heather Gresham
