For a growing number of Houston singles over 40, finding lasting love no longer starts with a swipe.
Dating app fatigue is well-documented nationally. Roughly three in 10 U.S. adults have tried online dating, according to the Pew Research Center, but nearly 80% of surveyed users report feeling emotionally or mentally exhausted by the apps, per Forbes Health.
Nearly half of online daters say they’ve encountered harassment or other unwanted behavior. For singles over 50, usage is lower to begin with; about one in six have ever used a dating app, but those who do often find the platforms weren’t built with their goals in mind.
That mismatch is exactly what Sharon C. Jenkins has built a business around addressing. Known as The Love Broker, Jenkins is a Houston-based relationship connector who works with matchmakers, therapists, and coaches to help singles aged 40 and older date more intentionally.
“A dating app isn’t like going to Walmart and walking up to a shelf and saying, ‘I like that one,’ and taking it home with you,” Jenkins said. “Many singles new to modern dating underestimate how many app users run scams or are simply not serious about commitment.”
Jenkins’ answer isn’t to quit dating altogether, it’s to prepare differently. She encourages people to start with self-evaluation before ever opening an app. Identifying unresolved baggage, outdated expectations, and what they’re actually looking for. “Where am I? Am I carrying any baggage from past relationships? Is my list outdated?” she said. “You truly have to look inward and reflect on how you want to show up better for yourself.”
Faith also plays into that evaluation, too. Jenkins recommends singles assess compatibility across what she calls the physical, spiritual, and mental dimensions, and avoid entering a relationship expecting to change a partner later in life.
“The things that you wanted when you were young, you realize when you’re old, I don’t even need that.”
Tressa Johnson, Houston resident
Money and blended families, meanwhile, tend to be the conversations singles over 40 avoid the longest. Jenkins tells clients to identify their boundaries around blended-family life honestly and early, rather than after they’ve already grown attached. On finances, she advises getting to know someone first and saving direct questions about credit scores or retirement savings for once a relationship shows real potential.
Tressa Johnson, a Houston entrepreneur, author, and preacher, has lived that recalibration firsthand. Johnson said one of the biggest misconceptions about dating after 40 is that it isn’t possible at all.
“One of the misconceptions is at 51 that you will never date again, that you will never marry, that you will never find love,” she said. “And these days the dating experience has significantly changed.”
Johnson tried Facebook Dating and said the experience soured her on apps entirely, in part after a match misrepresented his age with an outdated photo. She said she prefers meeting people face-to-face at church, at the store, anywhere she can read someone in person rather than through a curated profile. She said her biggest adjustment has been learning to stay open-minded about traits that once felt like dealbreakers.
“The things that you wanted when you were young, you realize when you’re old, I don’t even need that,” she said. Stability, honesty, and emotional presence now matter more to her than appearance ever did.”
Jenkins is bringing many of these conversations to a wider audience this fall. Her Love on Purpose Singles Conference, set for Oct. 9-10 in Houston, will feature workshops and panel discussions aimed at singles 40 and older, with relationship coach and MTV personality Ken Canion headlining.
For more information, visit www.loveonpurpose.fun.
