In 2023, David Brooks, a contributing writer at The Atlantic, made national news with his article that boldly asserted, “The Nuclear Family was a Mistake.”
Brooks contends that the family structure we’ve held up as the cultural ideal for the past half century has been a catastrophe for many, and that it’s time to figure out better ways to live together.
Since then, many others have chimed in, agreeing with Brooks. But even before Brook’s 2023 article, there were those, mainly on the fringes of mainstream society, who pointed to more traditional and people of color-centered ways of being in family. Specifically, what has come to be known as the extended family in Western Society was and still is to many, simply family.
The concept of “nuclear family” might have been a staple of society for centuries. However, in the present day, the traditional family structure has evolved to include multiple definitions of “family.” To understand the difference between modern families and a nuclear family, it can be helpful to explore the different types of family structures that are more prevalent and accepted in the modern day.
The term “nuclear” refers to the core of the family, which could be comprised of the parents and children, as opposed to extended family members like grandparents, aunts, and uncles.
The changing face of the nuclear family
In the 20th and 21st centuries, the traditional nuclear family structure has undergone significant changes. There has been a rise in single-parent, blended, and same-sex parent families and families who adopt or foster children. These changes have challenged the conventional definition of the “ideal” family in modern society and may lead to a more diverse and inclusive understanding of what a family is. Below are a few types of families that fit outside of the nuclear definition.
Single-parent families
Single-parent families where one parent raises children independently, have become more common in recent years. Divorce, loss, or wanting to raise children alone may contribute to this family dynamic. Single-parent families may face some challenges, including financial stress and a lack of support from a partner. However, many single parents successfully raise well-adjusted children. Single parents can be as loving and supportive as two parents may be to their children
“As a single father, I’ve had some good days and I’ve had some hills to climb, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world,” shared Cedric Traylor, father of two daughters.
“Our family dynamic may seem small from the outside, but we believe in extended family. My parents, siblings and cousins all pour into our household.” shared Traylor, who added that they also lean heavily on the support of teachers, coaches and church family.”
Blended families
Blended families, also known as stepfamilies, are families where one or both parents have children from previous relationships. These families could be complex, as they often involve bringing together children from different backgrounds and coping with the challenges of past relationships and new family conflicts
Wendell Booker and his wife Cynthia were both married before divorcing and finding each other. And when they did, they both came with children; Wendell with his two sons and Cynthia with her son and daughter.
“I’m not going to lie, as much as I thought I loved Wendell, I had to seriously think about, ‘Do I want to be a mother of four?’,” confessed Cynthia. “It hasn’t been easy. There were some growing pains, for sure. But we’ve all grown to love and trust each other. So, now any drama we have, it’s just the normal family drama, not that ‘You’re not my real mom’ or ‘You’re not my real dad’ stuff.”
Same-sex parent families
Same-sex parent families where two people of the same sex raise children together, are often more visible and accepted in the 21st century. These families might face challenges, including discrimination and a lack of legal recognition in some areas. Despite this, same-sex parent families can be as successful, strong, and loving as other family formats.
Amanda and Celeste, both from Louisiana, say the thing that helped their family stay strong was the love they received from their church family.
“Being a same-sex couple with a daughter, we knew there were only but so many churches that would even accept us with looking at us sideways,” said Amanda. “I think it may be easier now for same-sex couples, but when we were starting out and our daughter was seven or eight, she’s 32 now, we were viewed by many in the Black community as tabu. And then to have a kid on top of that. Please.”
“But we found a church home, which was important to us, because we were both raised in the church, and wanted that for our daughter,” added Celeste. “And thank God we found it. So, you could say our family dynamic absolutely includes our church fellowship family.”
Adoptive and foster families
Two parents may not always have children biologically. Some people choose to adopt a child or foster children to offer them a safe and loving home.
Benefits of modernizing the Nuclear Family?
Modernizing the nuclear family to include a broader range of family structures could benefit society. Changing the definition of a family can be more inclusive and accepting. Additionally, by acknowledging the unique challenges faced by single-parent, blended, and same-sex parent families, society could work to provide the support and resources for these families to thrive. Below are a few benefits of this process.
Increased Inclusiveness: By recognizing and accepting a more comprehensive range of family structures, individuals may create a more inclusive society that values and supports all families. Inclusivity can reduce stigma and discrimination against families that do not fit the traditional mold and foster a greater sense of community and belonging for all families.
Better Support for Diverse Families: By acknowledging the unique challenges faced by single-parent, blended, and same-sex parent families, society could work to provide the support and resources for these families to thrive. These resources might include financial assistance, counseling services, and support groups specifically designed for these family structures
Improved Outcomes for Children: Some children may benefit from the normalization of diverse family structures because it could reduce the chance of bullying or spreading stigma that could occur at school from other children. Inclusivity could promote improved outcomes for children, such as higher academic success and more positive social skills due to growing up in a supportive and accepting environment.
