Being someone’s maid of honor (MOH) is supposed to be, well, an honor. And it is! But what it also is is a major time commitment, rather stressful, and expensive. That’s why picking your best friend may not always be the best choice. You may love your best friend but does she have a maid of honor qualities? Maybe not, and maybe that’s why you love her! She is laid back, goes with the flow and is childlike. But your maid of honor cannot be those things. Having a good maid of honor will make wedding planning easier and having a bad one will make it harder. Here are things to think about when choosing your maid of honor.

If it isn’t your best friend, pick someone neutral

Your best friend will be insulted unless you choose someone neutral, or choose someone based on politics. For example, maybe you need to choose your fiancé’s sister because she has been feeling left out.

Have you done much for her?

You can’t very well ask someone to be your maid of honor if you haven’t done much for them. So, if you were too busy to bring them soup when they were sick, they might resent the tasks that come with being MOH.

Are they available?

Sure, your CEO friend is amazing at being organized and negotiating prices. But she is also a CEO who probably can’t commit much time to this.

How is their love life?

If your perfect choice is going through a rough breakup or divorce, you’ll need to find another one: she doesn’t need to plan somebody’s happily ever after right now.

Does she have money?

Being a maid of honor costs money! Between the baby shower and the bachelorette party,  things add up. Don’t choose your friend who constantly complains that she is broke.

Does she approve of this union?

Don’t choose a MOH who doesn’t 110% approve of your getting married. If she isn’t all on board, she will put a bad vibe on your entire experience.

Does she play well with others?

Your maid of honor will still need to cooperate with your other bridesmaids on certain decisions, so don’t choose someone too bossy.

Is she on her sh*t?

Does she keep a calendar? Does she remember things? Is she good at time management? Does she show up on time?

Is she easily stressed?

You need a maid of honor who will not become flustered if the florist lost an order or the lounge for your bachelorette party lost your reservation.

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