For many Black professionals, navigating the workplace can be a complex dance. While excelling in their roles, they may face additional challenges, including microaggressions, unconscious bias and the pressure to assimilate. In this environment, conflict can feel particularly daunting. However, avoiding it altogether could be hindering career growth.
This fear can lead to a cycle of silence, where Black professionals choose to stay quiet rather than risk confrontation. Unresolved conflict can fester, leading to resentment and missed opportunities. By avoiding it, you might miss a chance to improve a process, share a valuable idea or advocate for yourself.
The Defender spoke to Fay Lawrence, a veteran human resources professional corporate trainer who warns that this approach can be detrimental.
The Science Behind the Silence
Our brains are wired for survival, and conflict triggers the amygdala, the fight-or-flight center. This reaction can be especially pronounced for Black professionals who may have heightened sensitivity due to past experiences of discrimination.
“The fear of being ostracized or seen as difficult can be real,” Lawrence said. “Many of us have grown up being taught that disagreement is bad and that we must always project optimism and positivity to achieve.”
However, while avoiding disagreement creates an appearance of harmony, it conceals the truth and erodes trust. Human beings naturally want to feel like they belong. When you fear being ostracized, the more it leads to avoiding conflict.
According to a 2013 National Library of Medicine journal, suppressing our feelings raises our chance of dying young, even from cancer.
Strategies for Effective Communication
Lawrence recalled a time when she had to defuse a situation between a manager and an employee who suspected that her manager was giving preferential treatment to a woman he hired who happened to be his girlfriend. The young lady was asked to document everything while Lawrence did her due diligence to investigate the matter. When she confronted the manager about the concern, even though he got a bit defensive, he confessed to their relationship, and Lawrence decided to change his girlfriend to a different department.
“Human resource professionals are often seen as people who only seek the company’s best interest. We are trying to keep the company from being sued,” Lawrence said. “But it’s important to create an inclusive space for employees to air their concerns without feeling like they need to harbor them because, over time, it will hinder their careers if proper measures aren’t taken.”
She offers practical advice for navigating conflict. Here are some additional strategies professionals can use to navigate conflict effectively:
Seek allies: Having a support network of colleagues can provide encouragement and a sounding board.
Document everything: Keep a record of key events and conversations, especially if you suspect discrimination.
Know your rights: Familiarize yourself with company policies and procedures regarding conflict resolution and discrimination.
Avoiding conflict can limit your ability to advocate for yourself and contribute to your full potential.
“Don’t be afraid to speak up, but do so strategically, especially when you’re a Black professional, because it is always assumed that we are more aggressive when we express ourselves,” she said. “By understanding your triggers and practicing effective communication skills, you can turn conflict into an opportunity for growth and advancement.”
