Donald Trump has officially been sworn in and one person who had no desire to watch it all unfold is former First Lady, Michelle Obama. She didn’t give a reason, but just pulled a Jennifer Holiday and loudly proclaimed, “And I am telling youuuuuu, I’m not going!”
And we don’t blame her.
I think our Forever First Lady really meant it back in the day when she said, “When they go low, we go high.” But I don’t think she knew how low Trump is capable of going. And after years of vicious attacks against her husband and her family, Michelle is over it.
Her decision to skip the 2025 inauguration sends a powerful and clear message: Black women are done absorbing the nonsense. For far too long, we’ve been expected to “go high” while others drag us down. Well, in 2025, we’re embracing something new—peace over pettiness. And if that means pulling a Trump and skipping the ceremony altogether, so be it. (Let’s not forget, Trump didn’t bother with any transition of power, including attending President Joe Biden’s inauguration four years ago.)
It’s worth noting that Hillary Clinton showed up in 2017 after her devastating loss to Trump in 2016—a moment of grace and resolve. Meanwhile, Trump and Melania skipped Biden’s inauguration in 2021 altogether, yet here we are, with everyone expecting the Obamas to take the high road yet again.
Barack, ever the statesman, attended. And that’s fine. But Michelle is like so many of us Black women: We are over it. We’ve carried the weight of grace and compromise for far too long. It’s time for rest, boundaries and making space for what serves us. And if Michelle skipping the inauguration is her way of reclaiming peace, we’re standing with her.
This moment represents a broader shift in how Black women navigate the world. We’ve been the glue, the backbone and the bridge, often at the expense of our own well-being. The expectation that we should always be gracious, always “above it all,” is not just exhausting—it’s dehumanizing. Choosing peace over performance is not a retreat; it’s a revolution.
Michelle’s absence is already being dissected and criticized. Some call it petty or ungracious, accusing her of shirking her “duty” to tradition. But let’s not forget: tradition has rarely served Black women. Instead, we’ve been expected to uphold systems and ceremonies that have never prioritized us (Melania follows NO tradition, but she has the complexion to do what she pleases without criticism). Let Michelle skip out, and we get the whole, “petty” claim. Nah. By skipping this inauguration, Michelle is breaking free from that cycle.
Her decision is a reminder that it’s okay to prioritize yourself—to say “no” to situations that disrupt your peace or force you into a role you no longer wish to play. Michelle Obama is showing us what it looks like to step away from the performative and lean into the authentic. She’s not turning her back on diplomacy or progress; she’s simply saying, this isn’t hers to carry.
In doing so, she’s giving permission to Black women everywhere to do the same. We’re not obligated to show up where we’re not valued, smile through the disrespect, or “gracefully” endure environments that sap our energy. We’re allowed to set boundaries, demand more, and walk away when we need to.
So, Michelle, we see you. We stand with you. And we’re taking notes. Your peace is our permission slip, and we proudly follow your lead.
