The quest to find true love is often marred by uncertainties.
Research states that almost half of Americans believe dating is more difficult today than it was 10 years ago. Increasing physical and psychological risks, technological advancements, difficulty meeting people, and changing social norms are a few causes.
“You move from surviving your relationship to thriving in it. For us, the answer is found in the word of God. And that’s what we teach. That’s what we believe. That’s what we encourage people to do.”
Pastor Torsha johnson
Even the most resilient people become vulnerable and uncertain when they date. There are a lot of things you’re putting out there.
Not to worry. There are ways to navigate the dating pool no matter how turbulent the journey.
Pastors Torsha and Terrance Johnson of the Higher Dimension Church in Houston created an ultimate experience to help solve your concerns. Recently, they orchestrated a transformative event, “The Answer Conference,” helping couples and individuals find love and build lasting relationships.
The conference used biblical principles and contemporary wisdom to guide more than 600 people through the ever-evolving dynamics of relationships.
The Defender Network spoke with the Johnsons as they delved into pressing questions that resonate with the hearts of many: How does one find the right life partner? and what crucial steps should someone take before getting married?
Defender: Why did you both decide to produce The Answer Conference? Why was the focus on love and relationships?
Pastor Terrance : Well, a couple of years ago, during the pandemic, we witnessed its impact on many people. Our country faces a relationship pandemic, where relationships struggle to survive. The Answer Conference aims to vaccinate biblical insight and practical life experiences.
Defender: Could you share insights on the key factors and considerations that should be taken into account by individuals seeking a life partner within the context of your teachings?
Pastor Terrance : We believe it’s crucial to ensure that the foundation of your relationship is strong. People often have wish lists for floors, paint, and furniture, like building a home, but they need to remember the foundation. Similarly, when choosing a life partner, people focus on lists but often overlook the foundational aspects, like shared beliefs and commitment to building a solid foundation.
Pastor Torsha : I agree. It’s essential to share the same values with the person you’re pursuing. While tools like dating sites can help make connections, going beyond surface-level questions is crucial. Addressing topics like faith, values, money, communication, and sex upfront is vital for establishing a lasting relationship.
With the new dating sites, we’re discovering that these tools are great to have in place to make the world smaller when trying to find the perfect match. But you have to go further than the questions asked on the sites. And so there’s a list of questions, maybe disqualifying, that you want to ask to ensure that the person you’re connecting with is a good match for you. My husband and I, being in pastoring over 20 years, have noticed these things after counseling several couples.
Pastor Terrance : Just because someone says “I do” doesn’t mean they know what to do. And this whole idea of, we go to the altar and make this promise. But just because you make a promise doesn’t mean you’re prepared to keep it. We believe some things that prepare you for ideas must happen during the courting process. It’s a lot of fine print. It is hard to read, and you don’t figure it out until you get into it. I think spending that time learning to be a husband and wife through the Bible and mentorship is very important. And it won’t eliminate problems in marriage, but it’ll limit them and give the couple a more significant chance because they have increased their relationship skills.
Defender: Considering the diversity of perspectives on relationships, what are the core principles or values that the Higher Dimension Church believes should be at the center of a successful and fulfilling marriage?
Pastor Terrance : We discovered when we got to the point in our relationship when we wanted out because we had so many problems and weren’t prepared to say “I do”; we discovered that it was the Bible. It was the principles and the word of God. that helped us. And it wasn’t enough to read the Bible. We had to apply the Bible. My husband has this saying that paint is good inside of a paint bucket, but it’s only great when you take it out of the bucket and apply it. That’s when you get, you know, people can admire what they see because now you are applying those principles to your relationship, which makes it better.
Pastor Torsha : You move from surviving your relationship to thriving in it. For us, the answer is found in the word of God. And that’s what we teach. That’s what we believe. That’s what we encourage people to do.
Pastor Terrance : We talk about this idea of chemistry and compatibility. Faith and values play a major role. There are some relational skills that you need to be born with. you have to spend the time developing. Now, you have a lot of emotional unhealthiness because people don’t know how to manage their feelings in a mature way. When it comes to meeting needs, a woman needs affection, a man needs sex, and women need sex as well, but primarily, those are needs. What we feel like the secret sauce is care. You know, even when you don’t have the chemistry all the way, or you’re not as competent, do you care? Do you give each other space for grace? That’s the secret sauce, the Chick-fil-A Polynesian sauce that will help a relationship endure.
Defender: How does the Higher Dimension Church address the evolving societal norms and changing dynamics in relationships, ensuring its guidance remains relevant and applicable to a broad audience?
Pastor Torsha : We believe in changing the wrapping paper but keeping the gift the same. Jesus and the word of God are timeless. It always stays the same, even though the delivery may look different. We use various platforms, such as podcasts and bringing in diverse speakers to make the message palatable for different audiences.
We don’t have all the answers when it comes to young people. And we’re just grateful that we have our oldest son, who’s in full-time ministry with us, and his wife. They also help us remain relevant to their generation and the younger generation. We’re faith leaders, but we have problems too. We wanted to go to divorce court, too. Even though we wanted to do that, we consciously decided to apply the word of God, and it worked. My husband says it’s not magic; it’s management. That’s what we want to teach to the young people.
Pastor Terrance : The purpose of mentors and guides is to make life a lot better. Get somebody who have a proven track record, who’s a cheerleader and a coach, that’s if you are humble enough to listen to the guide, I believe you will get over any type of challenge in your relationship.
Defender: In the modern dating landscape, how does your approach address the complexities and dynamics of contemporary relationships, and what advice would you give to individuals navigating the challenges of finding a compatible partner?
Pastor Terrance : The first thing that I would do is make sure the person in the mirror is healthy physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally and do the work to become healthy. Evaluate your life and what you need to do to get better. We don’t believe in problems in the marriage, rather it’s the people bringing single issues because the problem isn’t dealt with as a team. There isn’t anything wrong with the institution of marriage. Invite credible people into your life, whether therapists or pastors.
Pastor Torsha : People no longer uplift the sustainability of marriage. It’s worth applauding. There are successful and healthy marriages that don’t get enough attention because they might not be as newsworthy or exciting as the drama that surrounds divorce. I want people to know we are working on The Answer Conference for February 2025. We want to provide people with the necessary tools to sustain healthy relationships.
