In Sept. 2020, life took a heartbreaking turn for Atinuke “Tinuke” Solanke and her family. Her 7-year-old son, Neil, who had been full of life and energy, suddenly fell ill, complaining of severe stomach pain. What initially seemed like a minor ailment led to a diagnosis that would shatter their world—rhabdomyosarcoma, a rare and aggressive form of pediatric cancer.
The diagnosis began a grueling journey for Tinuke, her husband Gbeke, and their family. Despite their efforts to seek treatment, first in Nigeria and then in the United States, the cancer returned with even greater ferocity after an initial period of remission.
Tinuke faced the unthinkable—watching her child suffer, unable to ease his pain, and finally, losing him to the disease in the fall of 2022. Neil passed away in Tinuke’s arms, a moment she describes as the most traumatic experience of her life.
And for Blacks in general, child mortality is more common than in any other racial group.
In 2021, infant mortality continued to vary by race. Still, Blacks suffered most. According to the Centers for Disease Control, infants of Black women had the highest mortality rate (10.55), followed by infants of Native Hawaiian or Other Pacific Islander and American Indian or Alaska Native (7.76 and 7.46, respectively), Hispanic (4.79), White (4.36), and Asian (3.69) women.
However, pediatric cancer is one of the very few health conditions that impact Blacks less than whites.
During 2003–2014, CDC identified 171,432 new cases of pediatric cancer. Overall incidence was 173.7 cases per 1 million population. The cancer types with the highest incidence rates were leukemias (45.7 per 1 million), brain tumors (30.9), and lymphomas (26.2). Rates were higher in males (181.5) than in females (165.5) and in persons aged 0–4 years (228.9) and 15–19 years (213.3) than in persons aged 5–9 years (122.6) and 10–14 years (133.0). Among all racial/ethnic groups, the highest incidence rate was among whites (184.4), and the lowest was among blacks (133.3).
Still, those numbers served as little consolation to Tinuke and Gbeke.
In the wake of Neil’s death, Tinuke spiraled into deep despair. The grief and anger consumed her, making it difficult to be present for her two other children and her husband. Despite being surrounded by friends and family, she felt isolated and struggled to find a reason to keep going.
“I was angry, lost, frustrated, and defeated,” she recalls. “I couldn’t get over the shock and despair of losing my child.”
Tinuke’s suffering was horrific, and that was even with health insurance.
Uninsured rates in states like Texas that have not expanded Medicaid are higher than rates in expansion states across most racial and ethnic groups as of 2022. Further, the differences in coverage rates between Hispanic, Black and NHOPI people compared with White people are larger in non-expansion states compared with expansion states.
Nationally, uninsured rates for nonelderly Blacks (10.0%) were higher than the rate for their white counterparts (6.6%), according to KFF. Seventeen percent of Texans (an estimated 4.9 million) were uninsured in 2022, down from 18% in 2021 (an estimated 5.2 million). Despite this improvement, Texas maintained its ranking as the worst in the U.S. for the highest percentage of uninsured people by a wide margin.
At 17%, Black working-age adults in the Lone Star State have a much higher chance of being uninsured than non-Hispanic white working-aged Texans (10%) according to 2022 U.S. Census Data.
Still, the family’s access to insurance was not enough to save Neil’s life.
Yet, even in her darkest moments, Tinuke’s resilience began to surface. She realized that to honor Neil’s memory, she needed to find a way to heal.
Though research shows that only 39% of Black adults who report fair or poor mental health say they received mental health services in the past three years, compared to 50% of white adults and 36% of Hispanic adults, Tinuke accessed the help she needed.
With the support of professional therapists, spiritual mentors, and life coaches, she embarked on a journey of emotional recovery. Through therapy and coaching, she learned valuable tools that allowed her to begin processing her grief in a healthier way. These experiences became the foundation of her mission to help others.
In 2023, inspired by her own healing process, Tinuke launched NEIL Coaching—an organization named in honor of her son. The acronym NEIL stands for Navigate, Empower, Inspire, Liberate, which encapsulates the core principles of her coaching philosophy. Tinuke’s goal is to support families and individuals facing life’s challenges, offering them the tools and strategies she learned during her healing journey.
Tinuke’s commitment to giving back to the community didn’t stop with the founding of NEIL Coaching.
Later that year, she organized the first “Trauma to Triumph” conference, held virtually with over 200 participants. The conference provided a platform for people to share their stories, gain insights from professionals, and learn practical techniques for overcoming trauma. This year, the conference is set to take place in person for the first time, offering both live and virtual participation.
The upcoming “Trauma to Triumph” conference will be held at LuxeSpace in West Houston on Saturday, Sept.14. Tinuke has invited a diverse group of speakers and presenters, including Jimi Tewe, a notable empowerment coach and speaker; Ele Gold, a femininity coach; Valerie Olvera, a licensed professional counselor; Ololabi Odunewu, a fitness coach; and Wilson Lota, a professional speaker and educator. Each presenter brings a unique perspective on mental health, wellness, spirituality, and empowerment.
And that diversity is critical, as more than half of mental healthcare practitioners say they have received no cultural competency training.
For Tinuke, organizing the conference is more than just an event; it’s a full-circle moment in her journey from tragedy to healing.
“Through it all, I learned that even in our darkest moments, we have the power to rise once we can process the right way,” she says.
Her story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the possibility of finding purpose in the aftermath of unimaginable loss.
The conference aims to equip attendees with valuable knowledge, exercises, and strategies for goal setting and healing. Tinuke hopes that by sharing her story and the lessons she’s learned, she can inspire others to find their own paths to recovery. “So many people are dealing with things that they shouldn’t be dealing with,” she reflects. “With the right tools, we have the power to rise.”
For more information, NEIL Coaching for more information.
