Brooke Taylor, 18, has a clear vision for her future. In 10 to 15 years, she envisions running her own business, living a stable life, and yes, maybe even being married with a child. But not in her early twenties.
โI think thatโs just so fast,โ the Houston teen says. โNot a lot of times you really experience true independence and growth.โ
Taylor represents a generation of young Black women who are reimagining what adulthood looks like. For them, marriage isnโt necessarily off the table; itโs just not at the top of the list.
According to a Pew Research Center analysis, only 61% of 12th-grade girls in 2023 expected to get married, a dramatic decline from 83% in 1993. For the first time in modern American history, more teen boys (74%) than girls anticipate walking down the aisle. The shift signals a seismic change in how young people are defining success, love, and their own worth.
A generational shift
The Pew study tracked the aspirations of American high school seniors over a three-decade period. The findings reveal not just changing attitudes toward marriage, but a fundamental reimagining of adulthood itself.
Beyond marriage expectations, the research shows that only 48% of teens in 2023 expected to have children, down from 64% in 1993. The decline is most pronounced among young women, particularly those from urban areas and communities of color where educational opportunities have expanded significantly.
Dr. Leslie Griffin, a marriage advocate and educator, says the data reflects a significant departure from previous generations, but not necessarily a rejection of marriage itself.
โItโs not necessarily that teens do not want to be married because they are, but they are definitely delaying because they want to focus more on career goals and financial stability,โ Griffin says. โWhereas generations ago, women were not afforded the same opportunities.
Their stability really came from being married.โ
Taylorโs perspective on marriage has been shaped by watching the women in her family navigate very different paths. Her parents have been married for over two decades, a relationship she describes as โdefinitely inspiring.โ
But she also lives with her grandmother, who has been unmarried for most of Taylorโs life.
โMost of the women in my family that I interact with on a daily basis, theyโre all very independent,โ Taylor says. โNone of them married.โ
This duality, seeing both successful marriages and fulfilled single lives, has given her a nuanced view. From her grandmother, she hears messages of complete independence.
โYou donโt need a man. You donโt need to be dependent on a man.โ From her mother, she sees a different model, which is a partnership that doesnโt diminish autonomy.
โI see my mom leaning in to not necessarily, โI donโt need you,โ but itโs good to have someone I can fall back on when it gets tough, when itโs too much,โ Taylor explains. โI can still do that in a partnership. I think thatโs kind of what I get from each.โ
Understanding the reluctance
Maisha Walker, who graduated from the University of Houston three years ago, remembers navigating similar feelings as a teenager. She recalls how social media exposed her to mothers sharing honest, sometimes overwhelming portrayals of their experiences.
โThis portrayal does not necessarily imply that motherhood or marriage is inherently negative; however, it shows the various challenges and potential downsides that are frequently discussed in digital spaces,โ she says.
Dr. Bequita Pegram, history professor at Prairie View A&M University, acknowledges this influence extends beyond social media to mainstream entertainment. Television shows like The Real Housewives and Basketball Wives, as well as certain relationship podcasts, often feature drama that shapes young peopleโs perceptions.
“The media makes single parenthood look glorified. And I was a single parent. It’s not. But we have to get back to celebrating
Dr. Bequita Pegram
Black marriages.”
โThe media has a lot to do with that when you think about what we see on TV, what appears to be normal, those social cues that we get from just being out in the world,โ Pegram says. โMarriage has taken a very negative viewpoint nowadays. Women are more cautious.โ
The Pew data reveals that boys currently exhibit a higher inclination toward marriage compared to girls, with 74% of boys expressing a desire to marry in the future, contrasted with 61% of girls. In 1993, a greater proportion of girls (83%) than boys (76%) indicated a desire for marriage.
โI donโt think much has changed for boys,โ Pegram says. โThe expectation is always that they will get married, they will have a wife at some point. For boys, they know a woman takes care of things. They know, โHey, when I get older, Iโm going to get a wife, and sheโs going to help me raise kids and take care of things.โโ
The shift didnโt happen overnight. Itโs rooted in decades of economic changes, educational advancement, and hard-won lessons passed down through generations of Black women.
Currently, women have surpassed men in educational attainment and earnings growth.
The median age for first marriage has risen to 28 for women and 30 for men nationally. Student loan debt, averaging $52,726 for Black bachelorโs degree graduates, delays major life decisions. Young adults are increasingly choosing to cohabit before marriage due to rising living costs.
More Black children are being raised in single-parent homes, primarily headed by women. Black women have historically been strong figures, supporting their families and nurturing children despite facing numerous challenges. However, single motherhood imposes additional stress, as many single mothers lack financial resources for childcare, quality education, and healthcare.
โThe media makes single parenthood look glorified. And I was a single parent. Itโs not,โ Pegram says. โBut we have to get back to celebrating Black marriages. And I hear a lot of married people now expressing the joy that they get out of being married.โ
