Scientists and researchers like to point out that when it comes to the subject of stress, we have to realize that there’s good stress and bad stress. Good stress is what you experience in those moments before you, as an athlete, engage in some sporting event, or that nervous feeling you get just before taking a test, public speaking, or being courageously vulnerable and honest about your feelings with someone close.
Those moments of stress serve to center us, focus us and prepare us for the road ahead. This kind of stress, when properly directed, can lead to incredibly powerful and positive results.
Unfortunately, I’m not talking about that kind of stress.
Rather, I’m focusing on the stress that feels like a weight on your shoulders heavy enough to bury you. The stress that ties your stomach, throat, and every other part of your body in knots and can potentially leave you damn near broken. The stress that one minute has you paralyzed, and the next minute has you pacing or eating or sweating or crying non-stop.
As one of my most impactful coaches told me back in the day, “Pressure buss-a pipe.” And that “bad” stress, that “negative” stress, will “buss” your pipes (i.e., your heart, your fuse, your brain, your spirit, etc.).
And we all know that simply being Black alone is enough stress to bring folk outside our club to their knees if they simply got a taste of what we experience on the daily. Add to that the stressors that all humans feel just going through this thing called life, and you’re talking about a recipe for disaster.
So, then, what do we do? Just accept defeat, and let stress kick us all the way “out the frame” or do we make moves to quell, relieve, vanquish or at least calm the hell down these stressors that are acting like “they” run thangs?
Here’s a list of things you and I can do to put our stresses in check. Find the one or ones that work for you, and apply them whenever you feel as if the sky is falling… again.
Yoga
I can’t read or hear the word “yoga” without thinking about that famous Richard Pryor bit on the subject. And if you never heard it, just know, it was done by Richard Pryor, so I can’t repeat it here. Anyway… yoga is an ancient spiritual technology practiced by African and Asian mystics and commonfolk alike for centuries before it was colonized and repurposed as the property of all Karens and Brads in the U.S. Yoga is a practice that can center your mind, body and spirit, ironically by putting your body through moments of “good” stress and then sweet relief. Folk who practice yoga regularly, swear by it and its power to wash away the stresses of the day, week or month.
Meditation
Here’s another ancient spiritual technology birthed by African people. Some define meditation as silent prayer – you know, that part of prayer we often omit… the part where we actually listen for God’s response after we’ve voiced our cares and concerns. But meditation doesn’t have to be silent to be deadly powerful in relieving stress. There are many forms of the practice, including guided meditation, where a facilitator guides participants through the experience, often asking them to visualize certain peaceful scenes to quiet and calm their spirit. There’s even the practice of walking meditation, where you focus your mind on one thought or phrase as you walk through a garden or park. Mediation can involve focus on a candle or some other object or move forward with participants’ eyes closed. Whatever method you use, the practice helps to slow you down from the hustle and bustle of the day, and offers the practitioner an opportunity to reconnect with what’s most important – their connection to the Divine, their life’s mission and purpose, their personal joy, etc. Try it, and you’ll be asking, “What stress?”
Journaling
Folk who journal swear it’s the best thing since (fill in the blank with whatever you think is a candidate for the best thing). Journaling is an opportunity to do a huge stress dump. Some folk engage in this “dump” by screaming out loud everything bugging them, and directing their screams at a particular person… an act that merely transfers stress from one person to another. But journaling is just about you and that pen and paper, or more commonly, you and your laptop. It’s an opportunity to release whatever is ailing you by allowing it to move from your spirit to your Word document/paper. Now, journaling is also for listing those things for which you are thankful, or memorable experiences and encounters you want to make sure stay memorable by being recorded. The whole process – releasing the negative and remembering the positive – helps to kiss stress goodbye.
Walking
Walking is one of the most under-rated activities out there. It’s one of the most effective and least destructive (to your knees) exercises. But, the simple act of walking regularly has been shown to offer more than just body benefits; it also gives the stresses that have built up in your body an opportunity to vamoose. And if you really want to take it up a notch, don’t just do your walking in somebody’s musty gym or by doing laps on the concrete parking lot of your apartment complex. Go to the park, get out in nature, and do the walk. Actually, just getting out in nature, whether you’re walking or not, has been proven to be a reliever of stress. And when you combine those bad boys, stress doesn’t stand a chance.
Positive affirmations
Researchers have found that Black children get bombarded with an average of 200 negative messages a day… from family, “friends,” social media, TV/movies, ads, teachers and other authority figures. Researchers also found that negative messages are stronger in their impact than positive ones. So, for every negative message a child or adult receives (messages that add stress to our lives), we need to hear five positive messages just to stay balanced and not lose our entire minds. And we know that neither Black children nor Black adults are getting 1,000 positive messages on the daily. And one of the biggest producers of negative messages is our own selves. We are literally negative-talking ourselves to a slow, stressful death with the negative talk that goes on in our heads. Think about it; we say horrible stuff to ourselves about ourselves that we would rarely if ever accept coming out of someone else’s mouth. But we can do something about it.
We can flip the script. We can take control of our internal messaging by employing the spiritual technology known as positive affirmations. If you can’t think of any, look some up. But it’s not even that deep. Just think about all the beautiful things you are or want to be, and repeat them to yourself in the morning, afternoon, evening, or whenever the negative talk is getting out of hand. Some people start their day with positive affirmations, speaking life into themselves while looking eye-to-eye with themselves in the mirror. Some look at this practice as faking it till you make it. But the science has been proven. This spiritual practice is the truth. You can literally program yourself you believe positive, uplifting things about yourself rather than those negative things the world, and often you put on yourself. And in the process, if you stick with it, those positive affirmations become your new reality, your less stressed new normal.
