If you grew up in the Black church, there’s no hiding it. There are tell-tale signs oozing out of every saved and sanctified cell in your body.
Plus, why would you want to hide your Black church allegiance anyway? It brought you this far by faith, down and up the rough side of the mountain, fueled by nothing but amazing grace, baptismal water and Sister Eunice Jean’s famous potluck potato salad.
But for those who don’t know, here are seven signs you grew up in a Black church.
Visitor confusion
When you go to a “not” Black church you’re left wondering what the hell is going on? Why is it so quiet up in here, up in here? The “preacher” only preached for 15 minutes. When is the real preacher bringing the word? Where the hell is the choir and the music ministry? We’re finished with the whole entire service after only 59 minutes? Where they do that at?
Church shoe game on lock
You owned a pair of special shoes, often patent leather, that were worn to church, and church only. Don’t let mama or big mama or one of the church mothers see you out in public with your church shoes on. Heaven help you if they do.
Assigned seats
In Black churches, there’s no such thing as assigned seats. But let somebody come up in the sanctuary trying to sit where Sister Gladys sits. The ushers will kindly usher your behind to an unassigned seat that’s truly unassigned.
The preacher’s high-five
If you grew up in a Black church, you already know that when the preacher says “As I close” or “As I finish” or “As I prepare to take my seat,” that means there’s another 30 minutes to an hour of preaching that’s about to go down. The preacher will “As I close” the congregation a good four or five times before he or she is satisfied that the Holy Spirit truly had its way.
Mom’s death stare
Forget the Star Wars “Death Stare.” That bad boy didn’t have anything on mom’s death stare when she caught you cutting up before, during, or after service. That stare usually came after one, maybe two, warnings. But when she gave you that stare, you “bet-not” transgress for the rest of the day.
Sanctuary geography
Growing up in a Black church meant you knew where everything was in the sanctuary. This included knowing where the strongest Amen Corner was located, where the person or persons you had crushes on sat each week (even though assigned seats weren’t a thing), and where the folk who were going to catch the Holy Spirit were going to both start and end their divine journey. And don’t let that sister who came to church every now and again, trounce up in the Lord’s house “one-moe-gen” dressed all inappropriately. You knew where the church gossips posted up so they could be ready for sister-girl, or anyone else they wanted to go in on.
You know the importance of community
The church was more than just a building; it was a center of community support and fellowship. And within that community, there was always happenings and events (potlucks, fish fries, church picnic, etc.) that strengthened the ties that bind. And you learned that the power of prayer was not a myth but an actual fact.
