As African Americans continue to reflect on their place in this country, the holiday season offers a unique opportunity to focus inward and celebrate our families’ strength, history, and traditions. It’s a chance to reclaim the holiday as a time for gratitude, storytelling, and connection. Preserving family stories is a powerful way to honor our roots and create a meaningful legacy for future generations.
According to Dr. Anne Fishel, co-founder of the Family Dinner Project, when it comes to Thanksgiving, “There’s a lot to think about and plan for before the big day, and it’s easy to lose sight of the big picture. The real meaning of the day is thanks + giving.”
This year, instead of rushing to the TV or retreating to separate corners at family gatherings, why not make the time to create and preserve family bonds?
“The stories we tell about our culture, our past, and the people who came before us matter. They are the threads that weave our families together and pass on our values to future generations,” said Houston-based writer Michelle Aldo, who helps families create legacy books.
Why family stories matter
Research from the Family Narratives Lab shows that families who know and share their stories are closer emotionally and report stronger bonds. Stories help us understand one another, bridge generational gaps, and preserve the legacy of our ancestors. Thanksgiving, a day centered around gathering, gratitude, and giving, is the perfect time to start.
Whether your table includes just a few people or a sprawling network of relatives and friends, make storytelling a centerpiece of your celebration. Here’s some tips from Aldo and The Family Dinner Project:
1. Start with “20 Questions”
Get everyone talking by playing a game of “20 Questions.” Ask questions like:
- Where were you born?
- How did you meet Mom/dad/your best friend?
- What’s your favorite childhood memory?
Encourage follow-up questions to uncover new details. Even if you’ve heard the stories before, there’s always more to learn. For example, you might discover that the Sunday church routine wasn’t just about worship—it was also about the best fried chicken in town at Aunt Bessie’s afterward!
2. Turn gratitude into legacy
Do you already go around the table and name something you’re thankful for? This tradition can be expanded:
- First Round: Share something you’re grateful for.
- Second Round: Share a favorite memory from a past holiday.
Record the conversation using your phone or a video camera. These captured moments will be priceless for future generations.
3. Cook up some stories
Thanksgiving is synonymous with delicious food, and recipes often hold rich family histories. Ask about the origins of favorite dishes:
- Who taught Grandma her famous collard greens recipe?
- What’s the story behind Uncle Joe’s cranberry sauce with a twist?
Asking for recipes—and the stories behind them—not only honors family chefs but creates a bridge between generations. Maybe this is the year you teach your kids how to make that treasured sweet potato pie.
4. Use TikTok challenges to learn more about family
One of the big things young families like doing now is recording TikTok “Most Likely To” challenges. Find some (or create your own) and have your elders play. Just be ready when you find out Grandma was “most likely to dance on the back of a pickup truck in a bikini.”
5. Play show-and-tell over dessert
Ask guests to bring a meaningful item that reminds them of their childhood. It could be a photo, an heirloom, or even a favorite toy. Over dessert, let each person share the story behind their item. Photograph or video these moments to preserve them.
6. Track your family’s health history
Thanksgiving is also Family Health History Day, making it an ideal time to create a health portrait. Or Christmastime, when many family members get together is a great time to answer those much-needed questions. Use the Surgeon General’s health portrait tool at https://cbiit.github.io/FHH/html/index.html to discuss family health patterns. This simple activity can provide valuable insights for ensuring a healthier future for everyone.
7. Create a paper trail
Ask family members to bring old photos, documents, passports, and scrapbooks. Take inventory of what everyone has, and plan to digitize and organize these treasures. And if they don’t want to let go of them, take a picture of a picture. Start a family archive that can grow over time.
Reimagining traditions
For some, challenging old traditions can feel unsettling, but redefining your holiday gatherings doesn’t mean losing its essence. It’s about deepening its meaning by focusing on what truly matters—our stories, our bonds, and our gratitude. As Fishel notes, “When we gather for Thanksgiving, we’re gathering to express our deep gratitude for what we have and what we can share with others.”
Visit https://thefamilydinnerproject.org/thanksgiving/ for more information and ideas.
Thanksgiving leftovers? Check out these recipe ideas.
