Thomas Meloncon, a Houston-born and bred nationally-known playwright and educator, once said, “The most revolutionary thing a Black man can do is love a Black woman.”
Credit: Aswad Walker
Recently, the creator of the award-winning play “The Diary of Black Men” shared some of the lessons he learned while loving his wife, Barbara.
“I am proud to say that if God says the same, then on May 22, I will have been married to my wife for 55 years,” shared Meloncon. “Over the years, when people interview me, I always talk about my wife because I know she’s been my inspiration. And I believe that as Black men, whatever we practice begins with our families. I often say that the highest form of democracy, in a sense, is between you and your wife. Democracy starts, fundamentally, in a marriage: your respect for your wife, for who she is.
“I’ve been very lucky to marry a woman who gives me good advice, very good advice. And I wouldn’t be here today without my wife’s wisdom, and with her pushing me.”
“I’ve learned to practice emotional intelligence and fix the part I play in any challenging situations.”
Kalvin Young
Beyond recognizing the wisdom and inspiration found in loving a Black woman, Meloncon then offered what some might consider the greatest lesson of all.
“A student asked me one time, ‘What should you say to a young Black man about how to keep a relationship developed and fresh?’” shared Meloncon. “And I told him that when you get married, when your wife tells you to do something, just say this, ‘Yes, baby.’ Because you’re going to end up doing it anyway. So, just say, Yes, baby.”
KevOnStage, a comedian with a huge social media following (2.4 million on IG; 451.2K on X), recently posted about a few lessons he lives by from loving his wife.
“Chasing women is energy. Lying is energy. DMing is all energy,” said KevOnStage. “It takes the same energy to be happily married. And in exchange, I get love, I get safety, I get sound business advice.”
Credit: Courtesy Kalvin Young.
He then added, “Big titties, fat butt? I need help negotiating business deals. Titties ain’t gonna save me $100,000… My wife helps me close deals. I’m not giving that up for fat butt. Fat butt, boo… If you pour into your woman, she’s going to help you negotiate that deal. She’s my secret weapon.”
Kalvin Young, a 1984 graduate of Jack Yates High School, gladly shared what he’s learned over the years, from loving Black women.
“I’ve learned to practice emotional intelligence and fix the part I play in any challenging situations,” said Young. “I also learned to acknowledge how she feels in a challenging situation, and to be intentional toward her.
“Am I good in all these situations? No. So, I’m going to keep working on consistency.”
While Young’s lessons took him inward, Shango DU’s wisdom, picked up by loving Black women, expanded his view outward.
“Once I loved our Black women, I began to love all that came from her,” he shared.
Baby Boomer James Aaron internalized lessons that are simple, to the point, and open to interpretation.
Credit: Aswad Walker
“They good. Real good. For real. They tough. Ain’t nothing better,” shared Aaron.
Manhattan University professor Dr. Jawanza Clark has been married to his wife, Jennifer, for two decades. And he has the lessons to prove it.
“Loving my particular Black woman has been great, and it’s a constant negotiation that requires patience, love, and commitment,” said Clark, author of three books. “She always has my back. I have hers.”
Clark says with he and his wife, child rearing has been a constant 20-year negotiation.
“We haven’t seen child rearing in the same way, but we have provided a good balance, I think,” said Clark. “I see why a child needs two parents at least.
Clark says that, like any couple, they have good days and bad days. But they have been committed to working at it for two decades now. And over those years, he’s learned a thing or two.
He shared, “Be transparent, be secure in who you are, don’t allow stupid arguments to fester, walk away when the temperature of an argument gets too high, and speak calmly when disagreeing.”
