Students’ educational journeys in their formative years are fraught with challenges and expectations from parents and educators alike.
While some are more academically inclined and perform better than others, some students struggle with academics. We’re here to say that it is okay. A few words of encouragement can go a long way!
It is equally important to understand what not to say to these students, even when comments are spoken from a place of concern and good intentions.
Positive words “can alter the expression of genes, strengthening areas in our frontal lobes and promoting the brain’s cognitive functioning,” according to Andrew Newberg, M.D., and Mark Waldman, authors of Words Can Change Your Brain.
Moreover, “A single negative word can increase the activity in our amygdala (the fear center of the brain). This releases dozens of stress-producing hormones and neurotransmitters, which in turn interrupts our brains’ functioning,” per Newberg and Waldman.
Here are five things that should be avoided when interacting with students facing academic challenges:
- “It’s not that hard, you’re just not trying hard enough”: Such statements, while intended to motivate, can sound dismissive of a student’s struggles and trivialize their efforts. All students have different ways of learning, and constructive criticism can help them more than implying they are being lazy.
- “You’re so smart, why are you struggling?”: Such a statement can pressure a student to push themselves beyond their capabilities and create unrealistic expectations. Test scores do not dictate a child’s talents and struggling to perform well in some subjects are quite normal. Instead, they should be encouraged to try their best and seek the help they need.
- “I never had trouble with learning when I was your age” or “Just pay attention”: This can make a child feel isolated in their struggles. Moreover, comparing them to other students with completely different surroundings and cognitive abilities, those who are not facing similar difficulties can be discouraging and may prevent the student from speaking up about their needs.
- “You should focus more on your studies and less on extracurricular activities”: While it is important to teach a child time management while they are growing up is important, implying that the student’s interests or activities are solely responsible for their academic difficulties is unfair and can be discouraging. Balancing academics with other interests can provide a holistic approach toward learning and can instead, boost their learning abilities.
- “Just try harder”: This oversimplifies the complexity of academic struggles and makes the student feel unsupported in their immediate environment. It can also be interpreted as a dismissal of their efforts, and lead them to feel frustrated and disengaged. Acknowledgment of their efforts and providing guidance or additional resources can help them develop effective student habits.
A child who is struggling academically requires empathy and support. Choosing words of affirmation and creating a culture of understanding can make a profound difference in their academic performance.
To help inculcate these practices, parents and teachers can:
- Evaluate for lack of interest or lack of accommodation.
- Test for learning differences.
- Accommodate learning methods by working alongside teachers and staff.
- Broaden their ideas of academic success,
- Encourage accomplishments in other spheres of life and their interests,
- Look out for signs that the student might be struggling, including refusing to discuss school or displaying a change in attitude or physical symptoms, spending excessive time on homework, low grades, and changes in their behavior.
