For Lula Goodall, being in a career that allows her to care for others in need was a dream. Serving the elderly community is a duty that is personal to her. At the age of 16, she became an orphan. As an only child, the loss of both of her parents at such a young age shaped her perspective on the fragility of life and what her purpose was as an adult. “What do I do now?” she asked herself. She lived with her grandparents, and they were much older. One of them had passed, which led her to take on more domestic responsibilities. Now as the CEO of Zuhri Care, a home care agency for seniors in Houston, she is helping young adults with the challenges of caregiving they may not be prepared for.
Americans are choosing to have children later in life and are likely finding themselves caring for elderly parents and children at the same time. According to a Pew Research Center survey, 23% of U.S adults are part of the “sandwich generation,” or individuals with a parent age 65 or older raising at least one child younger than 18 or providing financial support to an adult child. This is more prevalent in Black families where caregiving is regarded as an inherent duty despite some challenges, such as the barriers of increased healthcare costs and the inability to create generational wealth due to out-of-pocket expenses for care.
Goodall spoke with the Defender about what signs adult children should notice when their parents show signs of physical and cognitive decline and what caregivers can do to cope.
Defender: What has running Zuhri Care taught you?
Lula Goodall: I’m originally from Zambia. Zuhri is a Swahili word that means ‘beautiful.’ I always encourage my caregivers who work with our clients to give them a beautiful experience. We’re not just caring for clients. We care for the families as well. We understand that the changes can be challenging emotionally and mentally. We only hire CNAs. They are trained for this. If you have a passion for it, everybody will notice. With Zuhri Care, CARE is an acronym for Compassionate, Accountable, Respectful, Responsible, and Empathetic for all our clients. We want to give care in a dignified manner. Keep them as independent as possible.
Defender: What gaps or improvements could be made in the caregiving sector?
Goodal l: I’ve worked for two different companies, and I noticed some things that were missing. None of my bosses had relationships with the family members. When running a business, you must look at the bigger picture. Relationships are important to me. I still connect with caregivers whose parents passed on three or four years ago. These days, people in this sector are looking for a quick buck. This is a people business, not a database business.
Defender: How can adult children identify when it’s time to seek additional assistance for their aging parents?
Goodall: There are a few signs. I’ll give a few basics. Check if hygiene seems off or if they’re wearing a mismatched outfit. When they drive, are they circling around familiar locations and not remembering where they are? Do you notice household mismanagement with chores and mail accumulation? These signs might seem harmless, but it’s important to stay aware.
Defender: How can adult children broach the conversation about getting additional help from their parents, especially when certain African and Caribbean cultures aren’t accustomed to sending their parents into facilities or nursing homes?
Goodall: I totally understand this perspective. We are raised in a culture where you must be with your parents. You have to take care of them. Conversations like this need to start early. Don’t wait until it’s too late. Even though your parents are aging, they still feel you must respect them because they raised you. Discuss life insurance and ask open-ended questions. The biggest fear is when you’re talking about aging. The first thing we think about is death. It shouldn’t be that way. At Zuhri Care, we do at-home visits. We like meeting the parents where they are comfortable, and many feel at home. We have specialized care plans to fit the needs of each individual.
Defender: Are there common misconceptions about aging care that you would like to address for our audience?
Goodall: One common misperception is the caregivers do not speak to the parent as if they are children. When I meet with the clients for the first time, I take my time to address them instead of making them feel like an afterthought in front of their adult children. Someone might have dementia, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t aware of what’s happening. There are different levels.
Defender: What advice do you have for maintaining the well-being of both caregivers and aging parents during the holidays?
Goodall: For caregivers, this is a time of vulnerability. There are a lot of resources, and you should utilize them as early as possible. Try to seek help, even if you aren’t ready to fully transition. For aging parents, it’s time to give yourself grace and patience with your caregivers. They want the best for your overall health, well-being, and safety. Planning for the future is not taboo. Plan your life now because you never know when you’ll need care.
