It did not take long for Howard Shephard to know that the woman who would eventually become Mrs. Claudia Peace Shephard was the soulmate he longed for.
“We met in 1980 at the University of Maryland when we were both students,” said Shephard. “I met her there and fell in love. I married her three months after I met her.”
When asked what about Claudia let Howard know she was “the one,” he replied, “Everything. She was beautiful, very charming, very energetic, very loving, and wonderful.”
Years later, the two made their way to Houston. From 2008 to 2017, they owned and operated Bright Learners Academy, a private preschool in Pearland. Besides work, the couple built a life together, having two sons (Jonathan and Justin) and grandchildren.
Howard couldn’t imagine life without Claudia. But cruelly, even faster than their courtship came Claudia’s end.
In late April of 2023, his wife of 43 years was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She passed away three weeks later on Mother’s Day.
To say her passing left a hole in Shephard’s heart is an understatement.
“One moment she was here, and the next, she was gone,” recalled Howard. “I was devastated. Words can’t even describe. I had a real tough time dealing with it. I still do.”
In every spoken remembrance of his late wife, Howard’s words pierce the heart of the listener with his pain.
“She was so special, and was a wonderful mother and grandmother,” Howard recalled. “She loved me in such a way, I don’t know that, well, there’s no way I’ll ever replace that love. I just miss her so.”
When telecommunications professional Ashley Burgess made her rounds to an elder care facility, she bumped into Howard, a longtime customer. When Burgess took on a new role with her company, she no longer interacted directly with her customers. So, it had been two, maybe three years since she last saw Howard. And she never saw him without Claudia on his arm or very nearby.
But on the day of Howrad and Burgess’s unplanned reunion, he didn’t look anything like she remembered him. Upon asking Howard how Claudia was, Burgess learned of her passing and why Howard was in his current state.
Always immaculately dressed, standing tall and flashing a radiant smile whenever Burgess made home visits in past days, the Howard that barely stood before her in that eldercare facility looked only vaguely like the Howard Burgess remembered.
“He was severely depressed,” said Burgess
Her clues: Shephard was diagnosed with MS in 2000, but in all the years Burgess knew him, she never would have known of his diagnosis because he was always so full of life with Claudia. But the Shephard she saw in the eldercare facility was on a walker, and barely moving, at that.
“He kept repeating, ‘I don’t want to live anymore. I want to go and be with my wife,” added Burgess.
“I told him you could live for another 30 years. He didn’t like that at all,” Burgess shared. “But I said, it’s a possibility you can live for another 30-plus years. How do you want to do that? Do you want to be in good spirits, trying to enjoy that time, or do you want to sit here wallowing in grief every single day?”
Burgess, who is not only a customer service advocate and solution maker by profession, has those activities literally as her life passions. There was no way she could walk away from Shephard without providing some level of assistance. She was on a mission to convince Shephard he still had a life to live.
Soon after their chance reunion, Burgess took Shephard to church, and then to Cracker Barrel afterwards, thus beginning her efforts to inspire Shephard to breathe new life into himself.
Shephard heard Burgess’s words and took them to heart, though it wasn’t easy.
“Your situation is not going to change. You have to be the change in your situation,” she tells him constantly. “After we had our initial conversation, he sent me a text message saying, ‘You have really given me hope, something that I didn’t have, to move forward. And I really feel optimistic.’”
But with Shephard, it’s about baby steps. The pain of Claudia’s passing weighs down nearly every word Shephard shares. Still, he will, every now and then, reflect some of the hope Burgess wants him to internalize.
“She tells me there are some wonderful people out here,” said Shephard. “And I think that, perhaps, meeting some of these wonderful people will help me move on in my life.”
Burgess is clear that she’s just getting started with Shephard, and has already devised a game plan for getting him back out there, whether it’s to find new friendships or a new love. Interestingly, that game plan includes early morning grocery shopping.
“One day, I went to Kroger really early in the morning. I looked around, and it clicked. This is where we need to go for him to find somebody because who shops at eight o’clock in the morning, the 55-plus community,” said Burgess. “They’re there trying to get their food, first thing in the morning. Getting him up to grocery stores at eight o’clock in the morning is on the list.”
Burgess also challenges Shephard to exercise, get active and work on becoming the best version of himself, reminding him that no one she hopes to introduce him to wants a problem or someone to depress them.
For Shephard’s part, Burgess’s cheerleading and coaching seem to be breaking through enough that he’s offering advice to others who may have suffered the loss of a life love.
He shared, “Just try to find something that makes you want to go on, a hobby or something that just keeps you interested in life, and do the best you can to move on.”
DN: Check out a senior’s guide for getting back in the game.
