What are the 10 Blackest sayings of all time? Whether it’s those words of wisdom or warning from parents, bars from your favorite song, classic one-liners from movies, or just stuff folk be sayin’, whether ol’ school Uncs and Aunties or them young’uns, you know we’ve got plenty.
Growing up, I heard my dad say “You better straighten up and fly right” a million times. It wasn’t until I was a teen that I realized he was quoting one of his favorite back-in-the-day songs by Nat King Cole.
While a middle schooler, my friends and I were forever playing football in the street. And before each game, when trying to decide where the endzones were, someone would invariably say (as if we didn’t already know), “Lightpole to lightpole, bro.”
Those sayings were Black as hell to me, but they were very personal—heard in my household and on my block (or right around the corner). This list is about those more universal Black verbal gems. Like the one almost all Black children heard: “Stop runnin’ in and out the house. You letting all the AC out.”
But is that one Black enough to make the list?
Here’s my shot at breaking down the best and Blackest of sayings that make us laugh, cry, stand at attention, or smile silently, as we reminisce about all the times we heard or said them ourselves.
“YOU KNOW!”
Every HBCU swears they invented this call-and-response. Howard, Texas Southern University (the real TSU), FAMU, and a gazillion others will fight you if you suggest they weren’t the originators. Luckily, I have the answer. Tuskegee University is the campus where this was born. How do I know? Because my oldest daughter is an alum. And that’s reason/proof enough for me. Every time we talk, at some point, one of us will say, “TU!” And you already know the response. In fact, you heard it in your head even without me writing it here. Again, proof positive that Booker T. Washington and crew were shouting it back-and-forth to each other, even way, way back on the day when the school was named Tuskegee Institute. Amazing how they just knew; you know? That’s Black as hell!
“You got McDonald’s money?”
You’ve got to hand it to McDonald’s. They have successfully programmed multiple generations of children to crave that mess. But no ad agency magic in the world can sway a Black mother, especially one working hard to make a way out of no way. So, no matter how loud Black children scream for the Golden Arches or any other fast food joint, the response they hear more often than not is a question mom already knows the answer to.
“A whole nutha level”
If I were ranking these in terms of pure Blackness, “a whole nutha level” would be on a whole nutha level.
“God don’t like ugly, and he ain’t too fond of cute.”
This is that Blackworld reminder that it’s what’s on the inside that matters most… and that karma is real.
“I’m not one of your little friends.”
This phrase reiterates the social hierarchy set by Black parents, Black world, and Black Jesus (as if there’s any other Jesus). Black children who have home training know not to come talk to mom and dad like they’re peers.
“Bye, Felicia.”
When on stage performing, comedian Tony Rock lets audiences know that few phrases, if any, are Blacker than “like that.” I know the sister, but I don’t know her like that.” “I Fs with dude, but I don’t F with him like that.” And as Blackfolk in the audience know exactly what Rock is saying, all others are looking around, asking, “like what?” In a similar fashion, when we holla out “Bye, Felicia,” Melanated Nation knows what time it is. It’s er’body else who’s asking the question, “Who’s Felicia?” Bye.
“You ain’t got a pot nor window.”
This saying is foreign to any of us younger than Gen X (the greatest generation). And that’s a shame. It’s one of the best reality check lines in history. When someone is talkin’ out the side of their neck about the grandiose goals they have done zero to make happen, all while living back home with their parents (at 40-plus years of age), no car, no credit, no discipline, eventually a real one would tell them, “Bruh, you ain’t got a pot to piss in, nor a window to throw it out.” It’s not meant to crush dreams, just to get folk to see the reality of their situation, so they can move accordingly.
“I’m not the one or the two.”
This entry may be the youngest on the list, but it packs a very Black punch. Whoever birthed this one deserves a Pulitzer, Grammy, Oscar, Tony, and NAACP Image Award, because it’s relevant in every situation and scene imaginable.
“You don’t know nuthin’ ‘bout dat, see.”
An old school favorite. Whenever some vintage brother or sister 1) plays some music, 2) mentions their youthful heroics, or 3) fixes something in “rig” fashion or straight up, young folk around them already know they’re about to be hit with this classic. Let some Parliament/Funkadelic start playing at a family reunion, or watch 89-year-old Auntie get up and start dancing, or taste the mac and cheese made by the family expert, and someone, somewhere, is gonna let you young folk know, “You don’t know nuthin’ ‘bout dat, see.”
“Fix it, Jesus.”
This one is pretty damn Black. When things get crazy, and we see no way out or through, “Fix it, Jesus” is often the prayer uttered. On the positive tip, these three words show the wisdom we possess to recognize that there’s a power greater than ourselves. However, that divine power gave us power. In fact, Jesus cussed out his Disciples when they failed to heal the father’s child. Jesus told his followers, basically, “How much longer must I be with you. If you had faith the size of a mustard seed, you could move mountains.” What if every time Jesus hears one of us say, “Fix it, Jesus,” he’s like, “Damn. Didn’t I do enough? You fix it. You’ve got the power.”
